Page 36 of Crazy Thing

I shake my head, clearing my throat. “No.”

Am I disappointed? Sure. But I can’t say I’m surprised. After the way I hurt her the last time we kissed, I’m not surprised that Ziggy won’t let herself fall back under my spell. She doesn’t trust me.

“I’ll get back to work, then.” She stomps out, slamming my office door shut behind her. I stand here, wordless like the idiot I am.

Well, that went well.

17

ZIGGY

Iuse the back of my hand to swipe a bead of sweat off my forehead. I rush back to the front of my shop to make sure no customers stopped in while I’ve been doing inventory and cleaning up in the back.

I’m in Honey Hill and all day, I’ve been running around like my ass is on fire. Once upon a time, my moments at my shop used to be peaceful and serene. I’d take my time between customers and spend a good deal of the day in meditation or exploring my thoughts through journaling.

But today’s not like that. After working four long days at my new office job and then coming back home to work in my shop, I’m just plain exhausted. I have so much to catch up on here.

I’m planning to keep my doors open later than my usual business hours, just to make up for being closed all week. I know I’ll be dead on my feet by the time I close up, but I’m determined to make this work.

Who knows? Maybe the store will be busier with my reduced opening hours.It’s the law of supply and demand, right?

Ugh.Being around Darius already has me using his lousy corporate-talk.

Speaking of the asshole, I’m struggling to stop thinking about that kiss. I still don’t understand how it happened. One minute, I was restraining myself from beating the man over the head with my notepad. And the next, he was sucking on my bottom lip and I was ready to start climbing his handsome body like a tree.

What the hell is wrong with me?I need to get it together.

I can’t lose myself over some guy. I can’t compromise everything I believe in just for a little fun.

Because that’s how it’s always been for me. Every time I find myself growing intimate with a man, I end up having to choose between being true to myself and giving up all my convictions just to make the jerk feel better about himself.

But I’m almost 30 years old now, and I’ve decided that I’m done with that. I deserve better than that. I’m done sharing my body with men who expect me to fit my soul into an ‘acceptable’, little box.

And if that means being a catless cat lady in the woods, then so be it.

Do I get lonely? Yes.

Do I get horny? Double yes. Triple yes. Infinite timesyes-s-s-s! As I’ve learned over the past two years, taking sex off the table is not for the weak.

But sex without a spiritual connection has always left me feeling empty. At this point in life, compromising my deepest values just to get laid isn’t worth it to me.

Until I find the soul-level connection I desire, I’m content to explore my sexuality on my own.

I sweep my feather duster over a glass case displaying a variety of egg-like crystals, phallic-shaped wands,handcrafted g-spot massagers and other one-of-a-kind self-pleasure tools. Just looking at them, I feel a little tingle between my thighs. Thank goodness for these bad boys, or else I would have already lost my mind.

All-in-all, my life is good. I have a business that makes me happy. A group of amazing girlfriends. And a satisfying sex toy collection tucked beneath my bed.

Yup—life is good.

Maybe once this work assignment with Darius is over, Ishouldadopt a pet. The next time I volunteer at the pet adoption drives Meghan always hosts, I can take in one or two of the poor strays.Yeah, that’s it. That’s what I’ll do.

If I add in some loyal furry friends, I won’t be tempted to seek human companionship of the penis-wielding variety. Not even a little bit.

Up high on a step stool, dusting knick knacks on the shelves, I’m lost in thought. That’s when my friends show up, surprising me with treats from the local cafe.Nicky’s in town for her weekly visit to her parents and she’s dragged Emma, Meghan and Alana along with her to check out the newest offerings at my shop.

“Where are the babies?” I ask as I give the girls tight hugs.

I love watching my friends’ children grow up. Getting cuddles from Sparkle and Baby Davey is one of my favorite things. I love getting to be the crazy aunt and teaching those innocent little souls everything I know about life. I’ve always wanted kids of my own but with the trajectory that my love life is on, I accept that motherhood might not be in the cards for me.

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