Page 181 of Hide and Keep

She’s gonna stay the whole night…right?

Hands on my hips, I take a look around. How do I ensure that beautiful creep stays the whole night?

The door closes with a click that has my shoulders bunching to my ears, everything too much right now. Lights, sounds, I need it all gone.

I finally let go of my ruined dress, the front torn all the way up to my navel, my underwear shredded in several parts.

Turns out he didn’t come at me from the side. Why would he? Mallory didn’t give a shit about my shoulder blades, only what was between my legs.

Sucking in lungfuls of air, I go to my bathroom, recoiling when I see who’s looking back at me in the mirror. Not who. What. Eyes lifeless, cheeks smeared in black, lips spattered with crimson, jaw rubbed raw, chest scratched—I am unrecognizable. Already.

I didn’t want to be this, not now, not ever.

At least now it was preventable. It should’ve been. I have a full-time bodyguard.

Crue promised me he’d follow me into hell if I wanted him to. I was there! I wanted him! But where was he? Locked in his room?

His door doesn’t even have a lock.

He should’ve disobeyed my father and insisted on staying with me. He should’ve shown up at the last second like they do in the movies. I practically challenged him to. He should’ve—

If he’d doneanythingmore than what my father told him to, he’d be holding both a pink slip and a restraining order right now, barring me from ever seeing him again.

As heinous as tonight was, I’d do it all again for these next three weeks with Crue. I’d do it all again just to spend one moredaywith him.

Wiping the droplets of blood off my bottom lip with a shaky hand, I thank Goddess I don’t feel any cuts underneath. It’s all his.

Crue’s wrestling pointers did help, but they weren’t the only moves I needed to get away from Mallory. Wrestling is clean, this was not. Wrestling has rules, this had none. Crue let me move him, Mallory…did not.

Dress still on, I step under the showerhead and turn on the spray, the water soaking me from the crown of my head down. Beneath the veil of wet hair, I let a few tears free. A few turns into a dozen, and before I know it, I’ve lost count. I don’t blame the salty droplets. I want away from here, too.

I want away from me.

I roll the dress down, the material stickier than Mallory’s hands. My bra and underwear are next, the costly garments useless at my feet as I wash my body, my own hands foreign and unwelcome.

When I get out, I reassess my reflection. None of the physical signs are there anymore, yet they’re all I see. My complexion clear once again, I look normal.

I feel anything but.

He had no right to do that to my body. He had no right to do this to my mind. It doesn’t matter that he didn’t complete the rape. His attempt changed me. Forever. No amount of showers will ever be able to rid me of tonight’s memory.

I have no idea what to do or how I’m—

Crue knocks on our shared wall, not impatiently, just two soft taps to remind me of my promise.

I don’t want to go over there.

But I don’t want to be here, alone, replaying…everything. There’s nothing I can do about what happened. There’s nothing I can do about what’s going to happen.

All I can do is hold on to the one thing I do want while I can. And for once, I don’t have to in secret. He’s going to let me.

Crue opens his door before I even reach it.

“The sensor worked that time, too.”

“Weird,” I say like I have no clue.

After ushering me inside, he props his phone on the nightstand, screen-side down.

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