Page 303 of Hide and Keep

Grinning, he says, “You’re welcome,” in the same way we always do.

“No, I’m serious. Thank you for showing me what this kind of love feels like. I didn’t think I’d ever experience it.”

“I don’t think most people experience love like this. If they did, the world would be a lot happier.”

Focusing on the feeling of love, I picture my chest filling with warm air, thick like smoke but pink and cotton candy scented. It expands my rib cage until it bursts wide open in the middle, spilling out into the atmosphere in large drafts, larger than could fit in my body. I can almost see it spreading, searching for others to influence, to wrap up in security.

The reason why the world isn’t happier is because love is a master of disguise. It’s adaptable. It’s adrenaline and fear and perseverance and trust. It’s transformative, miraculous. It’s…everything. Love is in everything and everyone, but it can be hard to identify, sometimes impossible. The subconscious love you have for yourself is what keeps you from stepping out into traffic, is what urges you to snuggle down into your coat on a cold day, is what scares you about jumping into another relationship after being hurt. Love is a watchdog on constant alert just to keep you safe, to keep you alive.

“I love you, Crue Brantley.”

“I love you, Ever Brantley.”

“I’m… Wha—”

“I’m manifesting that shit into existence right now. You’re gonna be my wifeverysoon, so get used to the name.”

Suddenly lifting my head up, I capture Crue’s mouth with mine, breathing every last pink tendril I have into him, leaving it here, where it belongs.

Keep him safe.

Keep him alive.

Keep him perfect.

Ikeep expecting Phoebe to kick me out of the kitchen while helping her with dinner, but her patience is limitless, and thankfully, she lets me stay the whole time, gently walking me through the steps to make fried flounder.

“So…Ever. What do you like to do?”

“Um. In what way?”

“Just in general. What are you passionate about?”

That’s a first. If people aren’t grilling me about Munreaux Motorcycles, they’re talking about school. School and work are the Northeast’s idea of small talk. After names are exchanged, they don’t even touch on weather before jumping right into “What do you do?” and “Where’d you go to school?” Nobody’s ever asked me what I’m passionate about before.

“I… Well…”

Despite having hobbies, I find myself struggling to answer right away. It’s just such an unusual question.

It shouldn’t be.

I start with the biggest one, telling her, “I was a cheerleader.”

“Were? What happened?”

“Family obligations.”

“That sounds complicated.”

“Very.”

“Mm.”

She gives me time to expand on that but I don’t want to, so we sit in an awkward silence until Crue calls from the living room, “Ever draws, too,” making me blush. I didn’t realize he could hear us. That means his father can, too. I don’t have anything against Reid personally, but fathers are…not people I’m used to being open with.

“Do you really?”

“Yeah.”

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