Page 85 of Hide and Keep

“Why? Do you have more of those disgusting dehydrated potatoes you need to get rid of?”

I fight a laugh. “How do you know they’re disgusting? Did you eat them?”

“No, but my vagina did and now I have a yeast infection.”

The laugh slips out. So she didn’t notice until it was too late.

“It’s not funny. Yeast infections are the worst.”

“What’s a yeast infection?”

“You don’t know?”

“No, I’ve never had one.”

“Of course not. You’re a guy. Guys can stick their dick in a bee’s nest and be fine.”

My cock shudders. “First of all, that’s not true. Second, what’s a yeast infection?”

“It’s where your vagina itches so bad you consider sticking a bottle brush up it just to get a few seconds of relief.”

“Potatoes gave you that?” Shit. “Is there medicine you can take?”

“Yeah. I need you to buy it for me.”

“Me? Why me?”

“Because you’re the one that caused it.”

“That’s…” Fair. I didn’t know it’d affect her like that. I sigh. “Where do I get it?”

“There should be some at the grocery store.”

“Why didn’t you just ask your chef to make you something?”

“Because lemongrass-fed beef and truffle-oil pressed potatoes aren’t really potluck food.”

I eye Ever, the road, then Ever again. “Lemongrass? It’s grass-fed.” I wasn’t raised on that shit, but even I know it’s just regular grass the cows eat. What I don’t know is what the hell lemongrass is. Or what a pressed potato is. If it’s anything like the smashed potato I had the other night, then it’s delicious, which potluck food typically isn’t.

“You actually listen to those long-winded descriptions?”

“Yeah, I do. It’s called common fucking courtesy. I know Ryan’s ‘the help,’ but he is a person, just like me and just like you.”

“He’s obnoxious,” she argues, the reference to her earlier insult going right over her head.

“The man’s proud of his work.”

“Chef Ryan’s absolutelyfullof pride…among other things.” She whispers the last bit as she turns to peer out the window.

“Like what?”

Still looking between Ever and the road, I see her posture change.

“What else is Ryan full of?” I prompt when she doesn’t answer because I’d really love to hear this.

“Oh, you know.”

“No. I don’t. Spell it out.”

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