Page 269 of Hide and Keep

Over his shoulder, he says, “That won’t be necessary. Mr. Munreaux does not require your assistance in this matter.”

My heart starts racing. What matter? It’s only Friday. I was hoping I had another day. I was counting on having another day. I need another day. I…want another day.

Ticktock. Ticktock.

Damn it. I’m not going to get another day. I should’ve known. I should’ve prepared for this. I was too blinded by all the good, I didn’t want to plan for the bad. I purposely shoved it away, out of my mind, so I could be fully present with Crue and just enjoy my time with him. I knew it was fleeting. I knew the end was coming.

But like Crue said, it doesn’t make it any less sad.

I muster up a soft smile for him, but not empty promises. I don’t know if it’ll be okay. I don’t know if this will be over quickly. I don’t know if I’ll ever see him again.

I don’t know anything…except that I love Crue more than drawing, more than butterflies, more than the feeling I get when I’m airborne because he makes me feel free and loved and needed all the time, not just momentarily.

That’s exactly what this was though—momentary. Now comes the plunge back to earth, back to reality.

Entering my father’s study, all he says is, “Close the door on your way out,” to Edwin.

“What did you want to see me about, Father?” I ask as demurely as I can.

“We’ll be leaving for Nantucket tonight.”

“Why?”

“There are things you need to do. Tasks you must complete. Decisions you must make. It’d look bad if you weren’t. For you, for everyone. You need to be there.”

“What can I do to change your mind?” I ask him.

His eyes glued to his computer screen, he releases a hearty laugh, one I haven’t heard before, more of a guffaw.

“You have a lot to learn when it comes to negotiations, my dear.”

“I’m not your dear.”

“No, but you are my greatest disappointment.”

“Then why—”

“Because this is all you’re good for.”

I can’t stop that knife from earlier plunging all the way in, catching more than one vital organ. I’m not killing me. He is. He’s responsible for my mother’s death and he’ll be responsible for mine.

“I’ll give you anything. I’ll do anything. I just… Give me one more night.” Screw negotiations. I’m desperate. “Please, Father.”

“One more night to do what? Run away? Fill your belly with some bastard child I’ll be forced to cut out of you myself? I wasn’t born yesterday, Never. We’ll depart as soon as it’s dark enough. End of conversation.”

A tornado of white-hot rage swirls inside me faster and faster, building bigger and bigger, until there’s nowhere else for it to go but out.

“Why? Why can’t you let me have this one thing? I ask you for nothing! Nothing! Grant me thisonefucking wish and I’ll do whatever you want for the rest of my Goddess-forsaken life!”

Finally, he looks directly at me. “What has you so emotional?”

“You mean other than you commandeering my entire future?”

“Commandeering? I have no need to commandeer that which I already own. From the moment you were born with the last name Munreaux, your future’s belonged to me. No, this little outburst of yours is something different. Something deeper.”

He’s right. I am too emotional. I’m usually the opposite around him.

I immediately attempt to rein in the twister churning all around outside of me, stuffing it back inside, under the perfectly put-together outfit and flawless makeup. I even raise my chin for good measure.