Page 41 of Stone Blind

“Yes, but at least you want to learn. Most women see me and want to have sex- which I frequently turn down,” he said. “I can see it in their eyes what they want for themselves but they never factor in what I want.”

This was the Jarius Neary Helen wanted to know. She needed to understand how the man processed information on life and women. Helen also needed a bit of a guidebook on the care and maintenance of the prized stallion. Softly she encouraged him, “Explain...please.”

“They want the man, a couple of kids, the yappy dog, and a house with a foreign Mom-mobile. Then I am stuck at cookouts standing next to a grill with other beer bellied Dads, looking sad at having to either return to Disney World for vacation or migrating to the Disney Cruise. I don’t want to be an accessory some chick pulls out at functions to show-off that she has a man. Even worse being the reason my kids don’t like to be around me because she’s made me into the disciplinarian, and I hide at work taking extra shifts since I don’t like the people my wife turned our kids into,” he said. “You are the first woman who has ever worked with me in my shop or even wanted to know what I’m into.”

He was watching her again. He stared her in the eyes when he asked the next question. “Why are you considering this union between us, Helen? I mean, it is so random- that...I dunno.”

“Is it random, Jay?” she asked, staring him in his eyes as she responded. “You guided Cherry to find me. In your arms, I felt safe. I felt safe to initiate intimacy with you—which is something I’ve never done. I mean, I’m not a sexual person. Hell, I never really fully participated in the act or tried to avoid it all together.You have me initiating and enjoying things I’ve never had an interest in doing. Now I'm thinking about a raw edge desk for my home office.”

She stopped, biting her lip. What she wanted to say next would tell him so much. He deserved the words and her honesty. “I experienced a very enjoyable orgasm with you, and for some damned reason, every time we couple, I get to enjoy more. Hell, there was that one time, one had barely ended when another one started, and my feet cramped up in sheer delight. I never cared for sex until you, but it is about us, not so much the act− if that makes sense. It is about caring for the person and I care for you. The freedom you give me to enjoy all the feels is liberating. I want to return the sentiment. Your happiness, for me, is important, you deserve that from the woman in your life. Does that make sense?”

“Oddly, it does,” he said. “We are the lone wolves who found each other.”

“What we do next matters only to us,” she whispered, “and now, neither of us feels alone.”

SUNDAY MORNING, THEYspent nearly an hour in Mustang’s canoe on the pond near his home. Helen did not know what she was doing, but she sat facing him in the small boat, her hands resting on the oars fixed out of the water. Several attempts were made to mimic his movements with the oars, but she gave up, simply holding the paddles. Jay’s quietness meant a matter was on his mind.

“If we are going to figure this out, we have to talk it through,” she told him.

“Yeah, just going over the budget in my head, what is needed, and what everything will cost for me to start this new life with you,” he said.

Helen’s back went rigid. She held up her index finger to him, “Aht! Aht! You are considering a teaching position in your field that takes you out of the patrol car on dark back roads. The position brings a promotion along with the change of job title. You also desire to be closer to your family, fish more with your dad, and hang out with your nutty sister who owns a beauty salon and can’t do hair or a pedicure. You also want to be around to get Ruth’s pound cake. The position you’re considering simply happens to be in the state I cover.”

His chest puffed up a bit, “Okay, when you put it like that!”

“Jay, I will be the one moving to be with you,” she said, “so now you can beat your pecs and feel all alpha male that your woman is moving to be with you.”

He was grinning at the words he repeated, “My woman.”

“Your woman, Jay,”

“Does my woman want to be my wife?”

“Are you asking?”

“Not yet; too many variables to iron out.”

“Okay,” she said.

He waited to see if she had more to say, but she didn’t. He loved that about her. Helen didn’t mince words or hide behind platitudes or coy inferences. She said what she meant and meant what she said.

“Helen, I’m going to marry you,” he spoke softly.

“That will be nice,” she said looking out over the water as if the universe spoke to her on a ripple in the pond. “I never gave much thought to it before, aspiring to be a wife, especially, you know, minus giving a man some kids thing. I think it will be nice, me out in the Technician world putting a bullet in an asshole and coming home to Chicken Piccata and snuggling. I can deal.”

“I take it that as a yes, you’re open to the idea,” he said, smiling at her and nodding her head at him before going back toher mental notes. The private conversation she was holding in her mind took up the space in the canoe.

Once more, he sat waiting and she said nothing else. It was enough—they had a starting point. Over the two-week stay, Helen worked daily on tracking down the potential women of the Chrysalis, searching trends and patterns. She was on to something, she could feel it, but the nightly cuddling sessions had her off her game. She needed to get back to work.

Her list was growing.

› Order PO Box online; jot it down to remember mailing address.

› Send the boys each a card.

› Add one in for Ricky and Apple.

› Send a card to Naomi with a picture of her in the canoe, but without Jay.

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