I grab her hand and pull her over to the couch.
She sits, and I follow.
She softens her tone. "Sean, I know things were bad when we were in Chicago. I've been trying to think about how to get things back on track so there's no hard feelings between our family and the Marinos. I don't want that for you and Zara."
My heart swells. I admit, "I know we did it the wrong way. And I'm sorry for that."
She blinks hard. "Why did you do it like that? You know we love Zara. We would've been ecstatic for you had you done it correctly."
My stomach churns. "It just happened. You know how people in love are stupid and make bad decisions sometimes."
She pins her eyebrows together. "Well, when did you two start dating? And why did you keep it a secret?"
I take the easy out. "You know how Fiona is."
Mom nods. "Yeah, I do."
"Mom, I need you to focus, okay?"
"On what?"
"I need you to tell me what you know about Dad and the skull."
She sternly asserts, "Sean, I've told you all I know. Why do you keep insisting I know more? I don't. And if I did, I would tell you. But even Dante says you shouldn't have put that symbol on you."
"Dante doesn't know anything," I spout.
"Stop it. Dante's been a second father to you. You love him as one."
Guilt eats me. She's right. I sigh. "I know, but people don't make a big deal about nothing. So what's the real story?"
"I've told you all I know," she insists, hurt filling her expression and voice.
"You haven't," I accuse.
She starts to cry. She shakes her head with disappointment, grief, and anger in her expression.
"Mom, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to upset you."
She sniffles and looks toward the window. "Thinking about your father and how he died is painful. And I never liked that skull."
"Why?"
She turns toward me. "All it did was... It was painful for him when he got it, and it got infected, and it was disgusting. Then he went and tattooed it. It just seemed like self-mutilation to me. I've never understood it, Sean. And now you've gone and done it too, but you also put it on the back of Zara's neck. How could you allow that?"
More remorse fills me. But I know I had nothing to do with that decision. What I wanted didn't happen. It was out of my control. So I add, "I didn't force Zara to do anything."
"You're her husband. You're supposed to protect her."
"I tried," I say, and immediately regret it.
She studies me closer. "You tried what, Sean?"
"Just to get her not do it, but she wanted to because I did," I quickly lie.
Mom shakes her head in disappointment.
It rips at my heart. Yet I beg, "I need to know what you knew."