The logical, human side of me agreed. Little Wolf supported me, protected my secret like a true mate. Helped me retrieve my tribal spirit, fabricated the antivenom, and fought for me the whole way. Brewed trouble with her other men for taking my side over the group’s. Now it was time to fight for Tor’s cause. It was only fair.
Yet my wolf disagreed with every cell in his body. Prowling under my skin, he prepared to burst free, break down these damn gates and steal away his mate if that was what it took. Nothing would separate us.
“I need you too,” I whispered, voice trembling, upping the frequency of her hand grazes.
Bitter tears rolled down her face and my wolf wished to lick them away. “I know you do. I need you too.” Spluttered whimpers flew from her mouth and my heart pinched even tighter. “It’s just until I can heal Tor and get us out of here. Then we can all be together. I promise.”
I choked back sobs of my own, unafraid to cry despite what the elders told the men in my tribe. Wolves cried over their lost mates and children.
“What if your appeal is denied? What if you missed your only chance at freedom?” To be with me. With Tor and the others.
Steadfast and resolute as always, she shook her head. “I won’t give up.”
No, she wouldn’t. My little mate was a fighter until the end.
We both swallowed hard, uncertainty thick between us.
I lowered her hand to my chest, over my heart, letting her feel it beat just for her. “Little Wolf, you always sacrifice so much for others. When will you think of yourself for once?”
She hit me in the arm through the bars, not hard enough to hurt. A loving tickle, if anything, and my wolf roused from his sobbed howls. “I think of everyone. We’re a team.”
No, we hadn’t been. My secret tore us apart. Drove a wedge between Astra, Tor, and Knoxe.
Little Wolf raised her chin, preparing to deliver me a smack to the jaw with her words. “You gave up on us. You gave up on yourself. Remember? Did I give up on you?” Her barbed truth speared through my heart.
Ahh, there was that feisty goanna spirit I loved and admired. A spirit that would serve her well within these walls. A spirit that would keep the team together even though they dangled dangerously at the end of their tethers.
I grabbed her hand to bite the back of her wrist. Leave her with a love bite. Savor the taste of her on my tongue. “Yes, but I always thought of you. Protected you. Leaving you cared for if I couldn’t be there to do it.”
“Fuck.” Eyes wet, she looked away, bouncing her knee. “Did you have to say that? Now I feel like a jerk.”
I laughed and her eyes slammed shut. She smiled, and I imagined her using it as fuel to feed her desire for freedom. To get herself and the team out of the damn Guardians forever. Back to me where she belonged.
“I love you.” Sobs wracked her tiny body and my wolf thundered with frenzy to get to her. “We’ll come for you. Wait for us. Promise?”
“Promise?” I frowned and stroked the hand she set on my skin. “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll camp outside and wait here if I have to.”
She gave me a solemn chuckle. “You can’t do that. You’ll starve. Then I won’t have a mate.”
My wolf howled at the certainty in her words. At the agony of separation. Of not having her by my side, in my arms and in my bed.
“Raze?” Little Wolf swallowed. “Is there any way for us to contact or find you when we get out?”
“I will always find you,” I said, determined.
“I meant before then. If we get out on a mission?” She stroked my face again. “How do we … catch up? For a drink? A sacred dance? A little booty call? Fuck.” She hit her forehead. “This isn’t coming out right.”
I adored the way she said inappropriate things. My fiery little mate.
“I mean I’ll miss you, and it won’t be the same without you.” She swiped away a tear. “If we get the chance, I want to see you, and be with you any way I can.” Her proclamation warmed the parts of my heart that had frozen and turned to stone from the warden’s orders. “Knoxe will drive me nuts, and who will be there to make me see reason and logic?”
I knew she meant it as a joke, but it stabbed my heart so deeply I gasped. At least Knoxe would be able to remain with her.
I pressed my hand to her heart. “Feel this?” She nodded. “We are bound by our heart and soul. We can find each other if we call.” The rest was too painful to get out.
Little Wolf rubbed my arm, for what little comfort it provided, changing the topic to my relief. “Where will you go?”
I hadn’t thought about that. I’d been in too much shock and despair at leaving my pack and mate. The tribe had also banished me, and I couldn’t return to them or my mother. Maybe for a few days, at most. I should visit her. Comfort her over Father’s death.