Page 54 of Son of a Witch

“This way.” Serena guided the team along the perimeter of the last known portal location of the escapees. Another abandoned warehouse full of pigeon crap and oil-stained pavement.

I twitched at her order and glanced at Knoxe for his opinion. He was my leader, not Serena. I didn’t know her. Didn’t trust her. Spent a few days training with her. Not enough to get to know her, determine how she responded in combat, or satisfy me of her effective leadership. Trust was huge for me, and I put my life in Knoxe’s hands, not hers.

Touch sensitivity and trust prevented me from letting anyone have physical contact with me. Three years ago, Jaz was the only one in the team I let near me since he could relate to me with his autistic brother. Tor took on that mantle and watched out for me after we lost Jaz. Then Astra became the bridge between me and the rest of the team. Recently, I’d taken a huge leap and started to trust him letting Knoxe and Tor touch me sexually.

Change with routines left me uncomfortable, distracted and off my game, and I struggled to accept this new schedule and change in rank. In my current condition, I couldn’t be useful to the team and I dreaded causing more drama or harm. My muscles strained with tension at struggling to follow someone I didn’t trust. The last time I’d been unfocused with a headache, my mistake caused Tor’s injury, and I didn’t want anyone else to be hurt because of me.

“Pascal?” Astra whispered from beside me. Stun gun clutched in her hands, she remained close by my side, gaze scanning our surroundings. Vigilant and on guard. She always knew when I wasn’t myself and checked in with me. So did Tor, but he wasn’t here. I missed my buddy. “You okay? Do you need a timeout?”

Apprehension pricked at me, and I shrugged my shoulders again. A silent war battled within me. Duty versus self-care. The edge of a meltdown jabbed at the back of my mind, and I couldn’t afford to sink into one on a mission when my team needed me to capture the escaped prisoners and earn the extra bounty points. On the other hand, I refused to endanger anyone, and the fear froze me.

“I’m struggling,” I admitted, feeling like I was letting the team down.

“Pascal and I are going to hang back,” Astra announced to the group.

Serena paused to study me, eyes narrowing, brows dipping. “Take five, you two,” she ordered, gesturing for Knoxe and Loco to continue.

Knoxe hesitated a moment, raising an eyebrow at me. “You let us know when you’re ready.”

Pleased, I smiled. He now regarded me as his brother, his teammate, rather than a burden for Jaz or Tor to bear.

“Yes, sir.” I gave him a nod, knowing he wouldn’t leave unless I did.

Sour notes prickled inside Serena at me showing my allegiance to Knoxe and not her. Both fought a silent war over dominance. I didn’t care about who had the bigger dick, and that wasn’t why I followed Knoxe’s command. Trust was hard won, not given freely and carelessly, and she had to understand that, especially in my case.

It wasn’t personal. I didn’t trust Loco, either. Being Astra’s father didn’t give him an automatic pass. I’d give them both a chance if they gave me one. They just had to come to the party.

The rest of the group continued deeper into the warehouse. Serena scanned the remnants of the portal with a veil energy reading device that conveyed details of the breach. Knoxe and Loco disappeared through another door to check if we were alone.

Astra’s hand came down on my shoulder. “You’re not taking the new direction well, are you?”

Relief poured through me to have someone who understood what I was going through. Changes in routines made it difficult to function and process, and everything had switched so drastically that it didn’t give me time to adjust to losing both Raze and Tor. Two men I admired, respected, and loved as brothers. The Guardians brought in a new warden who shook up the place and instilled new rules and stripped us of our primary missions. Serena had joined our team as leader and Loco as a replacement for Tor, and I wasn’t handling the modifications well.

Serena gave me a good impression; a polite, firm, sensible, and competent leader. Calm, unshakeable notes gave me peace of mind that we were safe under her direction. Older than us by about fifteen years, her maturity and well-seasoned skills would come in handy, maybe even teach Knoxe a thing or two.

Loco was a whole other matter. Dark and unstable tunes filled me with a chill that reached my bones. A bitter hunger for revenge that could cost us. A man with nothing left to lose was dangerous, and I didn’t want an erratic and unpredictable guy like that near me when it could set me off.

Astra rubbed harder, bringing me back from my thoughts to her. I filtered through my thoughts, stretching back to her question.“You’re not taking the new direction well, are you?”

“No, I’m not.” I smiled at her, appreciating that she had my back during testing times.

“Me, too.” She rubbed at my arm.

Things with her dad must be weird and awkward after meeting under such violent circumstances. For almost twenty years she’d believed her mother’s story that her dad chose to exit her life and have another family. She’d confided in me that it had really set off her Asperger’s and hurtled her into a dark time in her childhood that she wished to bury. Her father re-emerging in her life catapulted her back into those times and brought anger, hostilities, betrayal, and rejection back to the surface. Emotions that couldn’t be easy to work through as she was thrust into a situation to team up with the man.

I felt for Loco, too. It wasn’t his fault. The Guardians and cruel prisoners had put him in that predicament. Hatred ran deep within him like veins of minerals beneath the earth begging to be removed, crushed, and extracted. Only when he exacted his revenge could he move on with his life.

While not as high on the spectrum as me, Astra still went through some of the motions, just not as intensely. We both had to find a way to work with Serena and Loco to prevent it from being detrimental to the team.

“Do you need to go back to the Guardians?” Worried notes mashed together told me she didn’t have much confidence in me being here.

I tucked my head and stared at the ground. “Maybe I should stay with Tor and help with the research. I don’t want you or the team preoccupied with watching me and not focused on catching the escapees.”

“Are you worried about causing another accident?” Astra asked. “Because that wasn’t your fault. It was the result of a series of misfortunes. Don’t blame yourself.”

I glanced up, getting lost in the vivid blue of her eyes, like dazzling sapphires. “It was my fault, Astra. I couldn’t protect Tor. That’s my job watching and protecting your backs.”

Her gaze dipped. “Styx was too quick. Too sneaky. None of us could have stopped him.”

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