I cannot bear the thought.
The castle seems five times its actual size as Alessandra and I race through its halls and chambers. My lungs and legs ache after a short while, but I push on anyway. The only comfort I have right now is that my sister is at my side.
Who would have thought that so much could change in a day?
Servants try to stop the queen, asking what is the matter and if they can be of service. Alessandra ignores them all. She does not falter even once, though I hear her breathing just as rapidly as I am.
When we burst through the castle doors, Kyros is already there with the carriage, holding open the doors. My sister and I throw ourselves inside. Before Kyros closes the doors, I say, “Make all haste for the dukedom, Kyros. Lives are at stake.”
He relays the message to the driver as he seats himself next to the man. And we’re off.
I cannot think clearly. I can barely breathe for how tense I am.
“He only has a fifteen-minute head start on us,” Alessandra says.
“That’s all he could need to kill him.”
She doesn’t argue.
“Why are you helping me?” I ask.
“I would say it is because you are my sister, but I don’t think that has mattered to either of us for most of our lives.”
A silence falls at her words, for I cannot refute them.
“I was once in your position,” she says quietly. “There was a time when I left the palace, only to realize Kallias was in danger. I feared I would be too late.”
“How did you save him?”
“By killing the man who threatened him. He thought me too weak to murder. He didn’t know that I would commit any manner of evils to save the man I love.” Her eyes move to me. “Does that make you think differently of me? When you learned I killed my first lover, did you think differently of me?”
I get the distinct sense that she is perfectly proud of who she is, but she is unsure where my thoughts lie.
I look her in the eye as I admit, “I killed the late duke.”
Her eyes widen.
“He touched me. Hurt me. I snapped. I smothered him with his own pillow. I also tried to kill Eryx by poisoning his food. He has no idea. I wonder what he’ll think of that when I tell him—ifI get to tell him.”
She smiles. “I thought to poison Kallias once. I didn’t go through with it, though. How fortunate that both our men survived us.”
And though there is still danger to dispel, I find myself smiling in return. “We Stathos sisters are a force to be reckoned with.”
“That we are. We are as arrogant as the gods, deciding who gets to live or die.”
“If the gods didn’t want us killing men, then they shouldn’t have allowed them to hurt us so much.”
“Indeed,” she agrees. “We only have the one life. We have to fight tomake it the best it can be. And when others abuse the powers granted them, then what choice do we have except to fight back?”
Her words ring so true they pulse within me in time to my rapid heartbeat. “I wish I had turned to you when Mother died. I should have chosen you instead of Father. Together, we would have been unstoppable.”
“We have each other now. I think the past played out the way it needed to, but did you have to call me a trollop so many times?”
I manage to laugh through the tears starting to fall down my cheeks. “I did it because I envied you. Because I wanted to experience love and passion, but I thought the only way to make the match I needed was to keep myself pure. I let the laws of men dictate me. I thought it was the only way I could win. But choosing myself has been more freeing than anything else.”
Alessandra crosses her legs in the roomy carriage. “And now you’re choosing Eryx. A devil-born bastard who lied to you.”
“Yes, I am,” I say with conviction.