Page 48 of The Darkness Within Us

My teeth hurt from how I’ve ground them together in the last few minutes. “Do not call on me again until it is time for tonight’s lesson.”

“Understood, Duchess.”

CHAPTER 11

Ican handle an angry, fuming man. I can handle an antagonistic and lecherous man.

But I was utterly unprepared for whatever it was that Eryx was trying to do just then. Apologize? Try to understand? Connect with me? Sympathize?

I have no interest in such things. I will not allow Eryx to humanize himself to me. I will not allow myself to become tricked by some false modesty or self-awareness that is wholly contrived. Men can put up fronts, just like I do to get what I want. I’ve no interest in seeing what it is Eryx wants from me this time.

Things are strained at the dinner table that evening, but I prefer it to anything else. I will not let down my guard around this man and allow him to hurt me more than he already has.

“A spoon is not meant to be slurped from, nor shoved into the mouth,” I say after Eryx samples the first course.

He looks to the spoon clutched between his fingers. “Right. I think I remember this one. In the army, we often had to eat quickly. I got into the habit of shoveling food into my mouth with haste.” He corrects himself with his next spoonful, raising it to his lips before tipping thecontents into his mouth. After swallowing, he says, “My mother did teach me all this, but I lost a lot of good habits while fighting for my life. And there were certain things she simply could not teach me. For example, we didn’t exactly have access to fancy silverware so I might discern when to use each one.”

“Silverware,” Dyson chimes in with a scoff, “is a luxury we gutter folk didn’t have.”

What is Eryx doing? Telling me about his life and his mother? He needs tostop. We are not to becomefamiliarwith each other. I’m here to do a job and that alone.

Eryx looks down into his bowl of celery soup. “This, at least, has far more flavor than that street water we were given to swallow in the army.”

Argus grunts in agreement. “General Kaiser and the nobility would have their fancy five-course meals with meat and grains while we were given moldy stews.”

I explain, course by course, how to properly eat food and use the correct utensil for each meal. By the end of dinner, I’m absolutely fed up with watching Eryx’s mouth. He missed a spot of celery soup near the end of his chin, and I’ve been too proud to mention it. Occasionally I’ll stare at it. It gives me a small spark of joy to realize he has no clue it’s there.

It’s a pity when he finally manages to clean it after he wipes his mouth for the fifth time after sampling a bite of braised pork.

“Those bites are too big,” I state.

With the next, he opens his mouth less wide.

Unamused, I say, “I was, of course, referring to the size of the slice you put into your mouth and not the width of your jaw.”

He grins. “I know. Sometimes it’s terribly fun to prod at you. No need to be so lifeless.”

“If I wished to be prodded at, I would get myself a husband.”

Eryx chokes on his next bite. He hacks and coughs for a good two minutes, while Argus and Dyson fight back laughter in the corner.

“Duchess, was that a sex joke?” Eryx asks, tears streaming down his face.

“I was being less lifeless.”

“You constantly surprise me.”

“Maybe if you spent more time getting to know me instead of trying to get rid of me, you’d find you actually like me.”

The silence has weight to it. I can feel it pressing against my skin.Look up, it says.See what look he’s giving you.

No.

I meant that rhetorically. I don’twanthim to get to know me. I just detest how much he detests me!

Or at least, he did in the beginning.

Now my eyes are mesmerizing, and he’s sharing stories about his childhood and his time in the army. And I notice things like his mouth and the way he smells so divine.

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