Page 52 of The Darkness Within Us

I am not content to live a life that is not wholly mine.

I would rather die.

“You are not the only one who has led a hard life,” he says. “You arenot the only one who has had to live to the whims of others. You are not the center of the world.”

“No, but I’m the center ofmyworld, which is why I have to look after myself. No one else will.”

He pauses for just a moment. “Go a full day without food. Then tell me that isn’t worse than being a lady.”

“You think you deserve to take what’s mine because you grew up destitute? I’d have rather gone without food than dealt with Pholios constantly touching me and trying to pull me into his bed. You don’t understand. You will never understand. Stop trying to compare my life to yours. You are a man, and you will never know what it is to suffer as only a woman can!”

The last words are shouted, and they startle me awake.

It’s the middle of the night, and I’m still in the library, the book I’d been reading weighing down my chest. It falls to the floor as I rise and retreat to my room.

CHAPTER 12

Itry to put the absurd dream from my mind, yet as the days continue on, I find myself staring at the fake duke, imagining him with those horns and pointed ears and canines.

“What?” Eryx asks at dinner one night, while I’m staring at his forehead.

“Nothing,” I say, returning my attention to my food.

Eryx shifts in front of me, possibly sharing a look with his bodyguards.

Thankfully, he hasn’t caught me staring at his ass, as I try to imagine what his tail might have looked like…

It isn’t until I collide with someone in the hallway that I realize I might be ruminating on the dream too much. Thankfully, I catch my housekeeper before she lands on the floor.

“Mrs. Lagos, forgive me. I wasn’t looking where I was going.”

“It’s quite all right,” she says. She brushes off her skirts before straightening the shawl about her shoulders. I do a double take.

“Is that cashmere? From Michalis’s?”

Her cheeks deepen in a blush.

“Mrs. Lagos, do you have a rich secret admirer you’ve yet to tell me about?”

“No.” She won’t meet my eyes.

“That simply won’t do. I must know who gave it to you. I thought I was fun to gossip with?” My lips turn up into a pout.

“It’s not that, Your Grace. I’m afraid I will cause you distress if I tell you who gave it to me.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Anyone who would gift my friend such a thing is—” I finally put two and two together. “It was theduke?”

Mrs. Lagos looks down at the floor as though ashamed. “He felt bad for all the stress he’s put on me. Letting so many of the staff go, managing a shorthanded estate. He only wanted to make amends.”

“Surely you wouldn’t fall for such bribery?”

“Of course not, Your Grace,” but as she continues on, I see her patting the new shawl.

I continue toward the main doors, for I’d planned to take a walk today. Damasus enters just before I reach the exit.

“Pardon me, Your Grace,” he says. His hand goes to his chest, where I notice a brooch pinned to the lapel of his jacket.

“Is that silver?” I ask him.

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