Page 84 of The Darkness Within Us

“First, I want to apologize,” I say, trying not to choke on the falsehood. “I was short with you earlier. I said some things I didn’t mean.”

“The part about hating me?”

“Let’s not dwell on details. I think we both say things we don’t mean when we’re enraged. The point is that I think you and I can come to a unique understanding now that we have a better idea of where the other stands.”

“Meaning?”

I twirl a lock of my hair between two fingers. “You know that I’m not leaving this estate. You know that what I want most is control over my own life. To escape the restrictions men have always placed upon me. I know your secret.”

He flinches, but I press on. “Bits of it, anyway. This presents us with an opportunity.”

“It’s too late in the evening for discussions like this. Will you just spit it out?”

That draws me up short. “You often have dark circles under your eyes. Is it because you’re not really sleeping when this happens? Does this happen often?”

“Focus, Chrysantha. You have a proposition for me.”

“Right. If you leave me alone to live my life as I see fit—control of the servants, the manor, my own money—I will help you. But no more talk of marrying me off or anything like that.”

He rubs at his forehead. “What do you think I need help withnow?”

“Keeping your secret. This isn’t a threat. This is me offering to help you control yourself. There have been multiple times now where I’ve helped you rein in your glowing eyes. I seem to tame the beastsomewhat, and I think I could help you make real progress in not slipping up in the future. If you keep at this much longer, the staff are bound to notice something is up.”

“Youbring outthe beast. Now you insist you know how totame him?”

“I do that on purpose. Getting a rise out of you entertains me. I think with some real practice, you could get this all under control.”

“You don’t even know what you’re dealing with! How can you want to put yourself in danger like that?”

I lie. Again. “You protected me from Lord Barlas. You’ve never hurt me before, and I don’t see why you would start. And… well, you could tell me what I’m dealing with. Help me help you.”

“So you can have more ammunition to use against me?”

“Whatever do you mean?”

“If you knew everything, you would truly have the upper hand on me. I feel like we’re barely on even fighting ground as it is.”

“How can that possibly be true? Why do you think I pose such a threat to you? No one will believe me if I tell them what I’ve seen.”

“Because you have a connection to the Shadow King, and while no one else will believe you, he might. And he might see me as a threat to his kingdom. You saw the way he stared at me at the wedding.”

Ha, as if I could ever get an audience with him. Perhaps everyone’s ignorance of my relationship with my sister is the only thing sparing my life right now. “Why should the Shadow King see you as a threat?” I have my own theories, but I want to hear his.

Eryx looks down at his blanket. “The Maheras line claims that their shadows are a divine right to rule, even though the truth is that the shadows were a curse from a devil. Devils love to make mischief in the lives of humans, though few are strong enough to manifest on this plane physically. Even then, they’re only able to do so after centuries of building their strength. The Maheras line was cursed by the mostpowerful of them all, and they don’t want any threats to their crown. If anyone with abilities makes them public, they are immediately executed in private. How can the shadows be a sign of a divine right to rule if other people have powers?”

“That’s it, then?” I whisper. “You were cursed by a devil?”

“No, Chrysantha. I’m something much, much worse.”

Goose bumps rise on my flesh. “Why are you telling me this?”

“To help you see what you’re dealing with! You don’t want to be on this estate with me. You don’t want to help me. You should be looking after yourself.”

At least it takes little effort to summon my defiance. “And what if I told you that’s the opposite of what I want? I do want to be on this estate. I am looking after myself. I do want to help you, and I’m not scared of you or whatever devilish abilities you possess.”

Eryx grips both of the horns on his head in frustration. “You’re not listening to me. I don’t know how else to say this. My hold on the monster is tenuous at best. I may not be able to hold him back from you.”

I stare at his forehead. “Are you saying there’s two of you in that head of yours?”

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