Page 85 of The Darkness Within Us

“No. It’s just me, but it’s how I differentiate between being in control and out of control. When I lose myself, the shift happens. I’m not in my right mind.”

“What about now?”

“I’m sleeping. I always shift when I sleep, because I’m not conscious to hold my human form.”

I smile.

“What?” he asks, defensive.

“It’s nice to understand. To have some answers.”

He shuts his eyes tight. “I’m asleep. I’m not as careful with my words as I should be. That’s why you shouldn’t be here.”

“Does that mean if I prod you enough, I’ll get the whole truth?”

“No. I’m notthattired.”

“Fine, but can we come to an arrangement?”

He looks astonished. “How do you still want to push this? What do I need to say to make you run?”

I cross my arms. “What do I need to say to make you realize that I’m not afraid? You need to trust that I mean what I say.”

He looks up. “It’s a terrible idea. Your worst yet.”

“Let’s just give it a try. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“I could kill you!”

“You’ve had plenty of opportunities to do that. Obviously neither you nor the monster wants that.”

He grumbles something that sounds a lot like “You’d be terrified if you knew what the monster did want.” Eryx shudders.

“And what does the monster want?” I ask brazenly.

Eryx swallows, but his face turns determined. “Nothing that I can’t control.”

For some reason, the memory of his teeth against my neck surfaces.

Now I’m the one shuddering. “Then it’s settled,” I say. “We’ll start tomorrow. That means I should let you get your beauty sleep.”

“I haven’t agreed to anything!”

“No, but you didn’t refuse, so I’ll take what I can get. I’ll see you tomorrow. No valets. Hopefully they’ll still be in town disposing of that body.”

Eryx bares his teeth in a growl right before I shut my eyes tightly, willing myself to wake.

CHAPTER 18

I’’m far too excited to sleep, even after I return to my rooms. I’m certain it’s just the prospect of Eryx finally letting me in. It doesn’t have anything to do with seeing more of his monster form. Or being in close proximity to that rumpled hair, arrogant features, or chiseled body.

I’m much too practical for that.

Still in my nightgown, I traverse to the parlor, unable to stay turning in bed any longer. I seat myself at my desk, reach for the lamp, and procure a fresh page of parchment.

I’m not quite sure where the letter will go, all I know is that I have this desire to write to my sister. Probably because I need to soften her up for once I finally have the information I need to expose Eryx.

Dear Alessandra (or must I address you as Your Majesty in private, too?),

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