Page 90 of The Darkness Within Us

He’s finally admitting he needs help. Or he’s trusting me. Either way, I need to encourage this.

“Can you help me to understand? What happens when you lose control?” I hope it’s a safe question. I need to ease him into this.

Eryx bites the inside of his cheek, then glances at the ground. “The monster is all my baser instincts. He is the worst thoughts I’ve ever had. He wants to take. Take anything he fancies, take any life that inconveniences him or threatens what’s his.”

“I think I can follow that.”

“The problem is when the monster and I want the same thing. In the case of the general, we both wanted him dead. Keeping the monster at bay is nearly impossible then.”

“But you were talking to him. Your eyes weren’t glowing then.”

“The monster isn’t completely stupid. He can bide his time as long as he knows he’ll get what he wants. It’s when I get enraged or—” He cuts himself off. “When I get enraged, I shift.”

“I’ve seen you shift when you’re not angry.”

“This is embarrassing, and I don’t want to talk about it. Can we just focus on the—”

“You also shift when you are impassioned. Just say it. There’s nothing embarrassing about that.”

“Impassioned. Such a delicate way of putting it.”

I narrow my eyes. “You’re the one embarrassed, not me. I thought only to protect your delicate sensibilities.”

“Very funny.”

“I’m not trying to be. Men are the most sensitive individuals I have ever met, yet they claim it is women who are always close to hysterics. I can confidently say the reverse is true. Now, let me see if I understand this correctly. If you experience really strong emotions or have an intent that’s aligned with your baser instincts, you have a hard time not shifting.”

“Yes.”

I think for a moment. “Which is your true form?”

“They both are. I was born looking human. The shifting came as I got older.”

“And it’s a result of…?”

“Nice try. We’re not there yet.”

I smile.Yet.That’s a good sign.

“All right,” I say. “What have you tried doing to rein yourself in in the past?”

“Everything.”

“Such as?”

“Pain. Inebriation. Distractions. Things like that.”

“What kind of distractions?”

“Argus or Dyson will try to take my mind off what is setting me off.”

“And does that work?”

“Not really.”

I cross my arms. “Youneed to be what calms the monster. Not them.You will only gain control over him when he sees you as the one in charge.”

“Now you’re the monster expert?”

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