Page 91 of The Darkness Within Us

“No, but I know about impulses. I’ve spent years mastering my own. Do you think I enjoyed playing a simpleton? Do you think I didn’t want to verbally assault men when they would belittle me? I had to be in charge. I had to keep my end goal in mind. Surely this is no different.”

He purses his lips. “If it were that simple, I would have figured it out before.”

“What brings you peace?”

“What?”

“Peace. The opposite of war? Is there a place or thing or person that makes you feel whole? Calm?”

“A person? Definitely not. I’ve never been in a place that was peaceful. My whole life there’s been danger.”

“What about a future goal? Something you’re trying to attain?”

He thinks a moment. “I suppose I am trying to achieve peace in my own life.”

“By killing?”

“Among other things.”

“And what’s the end goal? When will you be done and your life perfect?”

“When my enemies are dealt with, then I can finally rest.”

I examine the dark circles under his eyes. “Then think of that. Imagine you’re finally at rest because the work is done. And that can be achieved only if you stay in your human form.”

“This is ridiculous.”

“You being unable to control your emotions is ridiculous. You’re like a child, throwing tantrums.”

“I am nothing like—”

“Killing people who upset you because you know no other way to deal with your problems.”

“They deserved—”

“No one can even blame you with the upbringing you had. First your grandfather abandoned your mother, then your mother abandoned you. You will continue the cycle. It’s all you know.”

His eyes glow amber. “I know what you’re trying to do, and it won’t—”

“Why didn’t you kill your grandfather? He was all that stood between you and wealth. Why let nature take its course? You knew the kind of man he was, yet you let him continue on. Let him continue on with me—”

His black-purple horns sprout from his head. I might feel guilty for pushing Eryx in this way, but I’ll do him no favors by coddling him.

“You have no honor. No sense of justice unless it directly benefits you. Firing people from the estate to protect your secrets. Stealing this dukedom away from me because you think you’re more deserving. You probably wouldn’t have even stepped in to save me from Lord Barlas if it hadn’t been your fault in the first pl—”

He growls and launches forward, leaping clean over the tea table without hitting a single cup. He lands before me and covers my mouth with the palm of his hand.

“For once will you shut up?”

I slap him away. “Not until you shift back. Find your peace. Think about the goal.”

He slams his eyes closed, and I keep talking. “Your father didn’t care about you or your mother. You’re probably what scared him away.”

His eyes crinkle from the attempts to block me out.

“Argus and Dyson only stick around because they owe you. They don’t actually care about you. They told me they hate that they’re bound to you.”

He cracks open one eye. “That’s ridiculous.”

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