Page 95 of The Darkness Within Us

We both leave the library, and Damasus doesn’t bother asking if I truly need something when we close the doors behind us. He departs one way, and I flee in the other direction.

I feel wretched for my behavior. My hatred of Eryx is no excuse to takeout my irritation on my staff. I need to be better. I’ll give the girls the rest of the day off so they can spend some time alone together, figuring out what they want from each other. And Damasus could use another raise.

Then I remember I have to speak with Eryx before I can make changes like that, unless I want to pull the money from my personal stipend.

My temper flares again, and I shut myself in my room so no one need witness it.

IDON’T LETERYX STEW FORlonger than a few more days before I visit him in the one place where he cannot escape me.

“Bloody hell!” he shouts after I kick his mattress. He groans when he sees I’ve entered his dream yet again.

“How do you keep finding your way here? No,whydo you keep finding your way here?”

“You’re avoiding me.”

“I do that when I don’t want to see you.”

I stare at my fingernails. “I appreciate the deposits to my account, but I cannot do my part of the bargain if you won’t let me help you practice some more.”

“You and your bargains. I don’t want them anymore. Just take my money and do what you want with it. I don’t care. Just leave me alone.”

“Why? I thought we made real progress when we practiced together. I brought out the monster, and you reined him back in.”

Eryx flexes his fists. “I wanted to rip your throat out for the things you said.”

“So that’s the real reason you won’t try again? I hurt your feelings? You know I didn’t mean any of it. I was only trying to rile you.”

“I know that.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“There isn’t one.”

“Great, then I shall see you first thing after breakfast for our next lesson.”

“Chrysantha!”

“What?”

He stands, tucking the comforter in at his waist. It doesn’t go willingly. Finally, he just holds the whole thing at his side as he crosses the cloud-covered floor to reach me.

“I can’t do them anymore,” he says.

“Why?”

“Because… you—”

“Yes?”

“You remind me of my mother.”

The words nearly wake me from my own dream. “Iwhat?”

I can’t remind him of his mother. He’s supposed to want me. He can’t want me if I remind him of his mother. Mothers aren’t sexy.

“You don’t resemble her physically, obviously. But she would try to give me lessons about my form, convincing me to shift, and I don’t like it.”

“She tried to help you control the monster as well?” Is that why she died? Did he snap and kill her finally?

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