Page 75 of The Darkness Within Us

“Freedom. As a dowager duchess, no man can tell me what to do. My life is my own.” The only thing I need now are the unlimited funds to go along with it.

“You mean to say you wanted to marry Pholios?”

“Who do you think planted the idea into Father’s head?”

Another pause. “Let me make sure I’ve got this right. You pretended to be an idiot for…seven yearsso you could control your own life, and itworked?” The last word comes out at a higher pitch than the rest.

“Yes.” I press on. “And I owe you an apology. Probably about a hundred, actually. You see, I knew that if anyone was to pick up on my ruse, it would be you. I kept you at a distance to protect myself. I was self-righteous because I knew it would infuriate you and make you want to stay away from me. I was rude and condescending and judgmental all to play this game. You didn’t deserve any of it. I chose my own survival over you. I didn’t think I had any other choice. I regret how I hurt you over the years.”

Alessandra stands. “Kallias.”

“Yes, dearest?”

“I would like to dance.”

“Then let’s dance.” He holds his hand out to her and leads her toward the center of the ballroom. She doesn’t say another word to me, but she stares at me until another dancing couple blocks her vision.

Alessandra isn’t one to keep her thoughts to herself. I must have truly startled her for her to be speechless. Or perhaps she just needs time to process it all.

At least she hasn’t thrown me in prison or something else drastic, Isuppose. I hadn’t expected our conversation to go that way at all, but once we were talking, I couldn’t stop myself from coming clean. I have no idea why.

Because if I can find an ally in Alessandra, she can help me to be rid of Eryx? Perhaps.

But never mind that. I need to find Eryx. I sure hope he hasn’t found a way to embarrass me in the short time we’ve been apart. I turn in place, looking for his pomaded head. He’s walking across the room, not far from the dais.

Was he eavesdropping?

But of course. How else could he be sure that I didn’t spill his secrets? I hope it’s the first step in getting him to trust me. But all hell could have broken loose if the king and queen had caught him.

He doesn’t look my way as he approaches a small group of men. Is that because he actually wants to talk to them or because he doesn’t want to face me after catching him spying? I observe him for a moment. He pats one of the men on the shoulder, and they shake hands before widening the circle to admit him. Either he’s making friends astonishingly fast or he knows these men.

I’m surprised that I do not recognize most of them. I thought I knew all the courtiers.

To gently insert myself into the conversation, I approach slowly and take Eryx’s arm once I’m certain he’s seen me. While it would be difficult to fit his pistol and serrated knife in the tight outfit he’s wearing, I wouldn’t put it past him. Spooking him in this crowd would be a nightmare.

Eryx places a hand atop mine and pulls me forward, effortlessly including me in whatever conversation is happening.

“Gentlemen, allow me to introduce Her Grace, Lady Chrysantha Demos, dowager Duchess of Pholios.”

Each of the four men surrounding him bows.

“You must be the most fortunate man in all of Naxos,” the first one says. He’s older than the rest of the group, with graying temples and wrinkles about his mouth. “You inherited a dukedom that just so happened to come with such a lovely lady of the house.”

I think he meant it as a compliment, but I don’t delight in being relegated to “lady of the house.” I am its rightful owner and master.

“Your Grace,” Eryx says to me, “let me introduce you to General Kaiser and two of his underlings, Captain Rodis and Captain Zogafros. And this is—”

“Lord Barlas,” I finish for him. Yet another man who sent me letters right after the death of my husband. He already has a mistress, one whom he’s kept for years. Either he means to replace her with me, or he intends to have a short tryst. Either way, I’m not interested. He’s not a bad-looking man, but I’ve never cared for his character. I curtsy to the group.

“I’m afraid you caught us in the middle of a rather boring conversation,” one of the captains says. I already forgot his name.

“Yes,” the other agrees. “We were talking about the war efforts in Estetia, which must be dreadfully boring to someone like you, Your Grace.”

I’m torn between correcting the man or stating that the only thing I find boring about the topic is the company.

But Lord Barlas speaks up. “Why don’t you join me for a dance, Your Grace, and we can leave our fighting men to their chitchat?”

I open my mouth, prepared to deliver some sly rejection, when Eryx grips my hand more tightly. “Lord Barlas, what a kind offer. The duchess would be delighted.” He passes me off to the other man like money exchanging hands.

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