“I already told you—”
“Swear to me,” I say, my voice rising. “I need to hear it right now. Roslyn needs to get home to her papa.”
Kearan doesn’t slow or skip a beat. “I swear it.”
“Thank you.” His vow makes me want to reach out and touch him. I hesitate for several seconds, before reminding myself that I’m not afraid of anything.
I reach for his hand, despite how unnatural the gesture is for me. But my forwardness is rewarded by him threading his fingers through mine.
It feels incredible, even if it doesn’t feel the way it should. There’s a humming in my chest, a nervous flutter that is delicious and unlike anything I have ever felt before. It is nice to touch him. To be touched by him. Even though I cannot feel the heat of his body.
Kearan must read my thoughts because he says, “We’ll find a way to put you back to normal.”
“Threydan said it can’t be done.”
“Since when do we trust that bastard?”
“We don’t.”
“Then don’t lose hope. You said it was a siren artifact that made you this way. Maybe Ava-lee knows a way to fix it.”
I hadn’t considered that the siren queen might have answers for me. It is a possibility, if a small one. But that’s all one needs to hope.
“Thank you,” I say. “For last night. For the hope you bring. For the promises you keep. I won’t forget any of it. Ever.”
“You are my captain. You do not need to thank me for such things.”
“And if I weren’t your captain?” I ask.
He turns his head to face me. “I would still do them for you, Sorinda.”
I want to ask him why. What does he see in me? The same things I see in myself? Or new ones that I never even noticed? Does he know about the things I see in him? His kindness and bravery and thoughtfulness and fierceness. There are other things, too, things that cannot be explained.
They can only be felt.
And I do feel them for this man. This kind soul who’s never demanded anything of me. Done nothing but be there for me, even when I did not deserve it. He’s always been what I needed. He’s always done what I needed, including hiding his feelings until I was ready to know about them.
How could I have kept him at a distance forever?
When we reach the beach, I stare out at the dark blue water and shudder.
“It’s not like before,” Kearan says. “You’re in control. You can change your mind if you don’t want to do this.”
“I can’t,” I say. “Not if I’m to be a good captain.”
“Then you admit you’re a good captain?” he asks.
I smile, and Kearan’s lips part.
He swallows. “Your smiles are rarer than diamonds and infinitely more precious.”
I frown. “Don’t quit piracy to become a poet.”
“Ha.” He nudges me with a shoulder. “I’m serious. It is a lovely smile.”
“Thank you, but watch what you say else Enwen will never let you hear the end of it.”
“Don’t I know it.”