Page 23 of Twisted Mates

“See? It’s all good,” she says with a grin.

“Yeah, no big deal, you were right.”

It’s a lie. A dirty fucking lie. Every inappropriate thought I’ve had about her since I saw her at the ball dances at the corner of my mind. The last thing I know is how I’m going to control my body’s response to her when she’s so close. I wonder ifthisis why my brother had difficulty sleeping with her next to him.

Alexia in my bed is forcing me to confront the feelings I’ve been trying to avoid since seeing her again. I’ve shoved them down, pushed them away. I’ve tried telling myself that she belongs to my brother, tried to see her as a little sister. Reminded myself that she can’t possibly see me that way. She’s trying to make things work with my brother—who I’m starting to think is a raging idiot for not completing his bond with this woman.

The mattress shifts and I feel her slide down to her back, thankfully keeping her distance from me. But that doesn’t mean I don’t feel her in every cell of my body. Just her breaths are enough to drive me crazy.

With this pillow between us, I can still see her silhouette and even that is too much, so I turn on my other side, facing away from her. We lay in silence for long minutes before she surprises me by speaking.

“Xander?”

“Yeah?” I answer much too quickly.

“I’m going to ask you something, and I need you to just be blunt with me. Okay? As honest as you can. No matter if you think it’ll upset me. Can you do that?” she asks, and I can tell by her voice that she’s facing me.

I force myself not to turn over. “Of course.”

“If Kai is my mate, why does everything feel so out of sorts with him? I always thought that the mating bond just clicked in place and that was it,” she whispers, and I hate how small her voice is.

The question turns over and over inside my head. Didn’t I just think my brother was an idiot for the same thing? But I have to admit that their situation is outside the norm.

“I would agree if he didn’t have the extra pressure from his status. This isn’t just any mating. I highly doubt he went into that great hall thinking you would choose him. And when you did, you changed the trajectory of his future. You set in stone that he would be our pack’s next king.”

The mattress shifts again and her hand brushes against me. My skin raises in goosebumps, and I realize she’s grabbed onto the pillow so she can hug it to her chest. For some reason, that makes my heart hurt.

“But... it’s not—” She takes a deep breath. “Crap.”

“What?” I ask, and I finally turn over to face her. “What is it, Alexia? You can tell me.”

“I want this to work because it’s what I’m supposed to do, you know? I want to make my parents proud, do what’s right by the pack, and by Kai. But it’s not—it’s not clicking in place for me either, Xander. Something—something isn’t right,” she says, and her voice finally cracks. “Leave it to me to mess up something this important.”

“Like I said, you are both under stress. It’s only been a couple of days?—”

“It’s not been a couple of days for me. It’s been three months. I prepared myself toknowmy mate. And I’m having doubts now.”

I rest my hand over hers where it sits gripping the pillow. As if I have no control over my actions, I brush my thumb over her knuckles. “Nothing is wrong with you. You want this to work, and it will.”

I don’t miss her sharp intake of breath when I touch her, and even though I should probably take my hand off hers, I can’t.

Well, I could.

But fuck, I don’t want to.

Unless she doesn’t want me to touch her.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—” I start to pull my hand back, but she closes her fingers over mine.

“No. Please don’t,” she murmurs, and when I meet her gaze, a sliver of light from the window catches her eyes and I see the pleading in them.

“I just thought that when I found my mate, he would want me. Like,reallywant me. To the point where he couldn’t help himself. And that I would feel the same. That’s whateveryonesays. How can I be different from literally everyone else? Am I that unlovable? I know I’m a lot sometimes, with all my energy and emotions, so maybe it’s just not meant to be for me, I don’t know.”

“You’re not a lot, Alexia. Not too much and not lacking. I don’t know all the logistics of mating. It’s been years since I’ve given it much thought, but I do know Kai is just in the other room. And I’m sure he’s just as conflicted as you.” I let her hand go, and move it to the side of her head, sweeping the dark hair away from her face. “Fretting about all this tonight is going to do you no good. Relax. Know that you’re safe here with me and you can take your time to gather your thoughts. In the end, it will all work out.”

“Thank you, Xander. You’re the only one who understands what I’m going through,” she says sleepily, and she shifts, tucking her hands under her cheek, trapping my hand underneath with hers. “You really are the only person I feel safe with.”

I could easily free myself from her grip and put that space back between us that we tried so hard to create, but I don’t want to.

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