Okay, fine.
It’s not like I ever thought we were truly dating, even if he acted like we were most of the time. Holding my hand. Who even does that with fuck-buddies?
He’s old, though. I’m not sure he knows how casual things get with younger people these days.
I even told him to his face I would play down the suggestion we were dating to his mom, and he agreed.
So, it shouldn’t bother me.
It shouldn’t be such a big, nasty surprise.
I have no claim on him and I never pretended I did.
But he sounded so intense when he vowed I’m just his latest charity case.
Like there was never a chance it could ever be more.
Like the notion of just being with someone like me isridiculous.
I try to stop obsessing over it and just enjoy the moment, the easy conversation with Delly as they laugh about Colt.
Only, the second we leave and get in the car back to his house—which I’m still living in—I’m stuck on that single killing word.
Never.
It’s so flipping grim.
Not just ‘probably not,’ or ‘I don’t think so’ or ‘don’t be silly.’
Never is a killshot.
Never meansnever.
I’m grateful for everything he’s done for me. And just because we’re having amazing sex doesn’t mean we’re soulmates destined to ride off into the sunset with Just Married painted on the car.
Logically, it’s cool, and I’ve been telling myself that ever since I overheard him.
So why does it flay me open everywhere?
Why does it make me tear up like I’m back in that stuffy dressing room before I fled Holden and the wedding from hell?
When I came back to the kitchen and heard him growling about how impossible we are, it felt like someone threw me on a bed of broken glass.
Maybe because I’ve heard it all before.
My allergy to ‘never’ didn’t originate with Archer, no. How many times have other people used that word like a weapon?
Dad used to bellow it every time I tried to step out of line.
You’ll never make it on your own.
You’ll never make a living as a beekeeper!
Never think about leaving DC again. Your life is here, Wynne.
Don’t tell me you want to break things off with Holden. You’ll never find someone like him again. He’s your future, the glue between our families, and you’re being ridiculous.
Our families.