Page 52 of Justified Lies

“I just wanted to be with you, to…”

“Because I’ve really gotten all the sympathy I can handle at this point. In case this wasn’t already crystal clear, you don’t need to feel indebted to me because of what happened the other night. I don’t expect anything more out of you, nor do I…”

“I don’t feel bad for you, Lianna. I care for you, big difference.” Taking his eyes off the road, he glanced at her briefly. “And I do expect more out of you, a lot more.” His tone was sharp.

Lianna gaped at him for only a moment before she was back on her game.

“Two weeks ago, you couldn’t stand to inhale the same air I did and now you care for me? I’m not an idiot. I get it, you had an itch to scratch, I was eager to help with that and now here we sit.”

Unwilling to look at his face, she narrowed in on his ridiculously sexy forearms, flexing with each turn of the wheel. She looked away, disappointed in herself, pretending instead to focus her attention on the rain sliding down the passenger window again. How could she be turned on in the middle of an argument, and by his forearms of all things?

“I explained that.”

She waited for him to go on and when he didn’t, she was forced to look back in his direction.

“I don’t remember you explaining anything.”

When he glanced at her again, she immediately looked away. She couldn’t look into his pretty brown eyes now. Not when hers gave far too much away.

“I told you, I liked being with you too much. So, I thought it was best to keep my distance.”

“Oh, come on, Gabe,” she enunciated each syllable. “That doesn’t even mean anything.” She raised her arms and let them drop to her lap in dramatic fashion. When her coffee sloshed onto her sleeve she regretted acting like a drama queen.

Exhaling loudly, he focused on the road.

“I was … conflicted. But I always wanted you, from the first time I saw you at school orientation. I also knew from day one you were way too good for me.”

Lianna couldn’t help rolling her eyes.

“I mean it. I thought it would be easier to just keep my distance from you, but that was impossible. What’s that saying, to know you is to love you?”

“Isn’t that a song fromAustin Powers?”

Gabe laughed and some of the tension left the vehicle. Lianna prayed he hadn’t heard her intake of breath at his mere mention of the “L” word.

“I was an idiot for thinking I could stop myself from falling for you and a selfish prick for the way I treated you.”

Her heart tried to beat its way out of her chest. Knowing she might be overstepping with her next question, Lianna risked asking anyway.

“Then why can’t this happen?” she motioned between them. “Does it have to do with Jacob’s mom? Is she still in the picture?”

While Gabe hadn’t come out and said he was only half in this thing, Lianna felt it. He was clearly attracted to her, but had drawn an invisible line in the sand. Only recently had he started to cross it. But she never knew when that would be. Gabe was holding her at arm’s length.

Gabe shook his head. “Things in my past, my life, it’s complicated and no one needs that kind of baggage.”

Lianna sat with her hands clenched tightly in her lap waiting for him to go on. The seconds stretched into minutes, but Gabe didn’t utter another word.

The impact of his silence was overwhelming. The fact that he couldn’t, no—wouldn’t— trust her with the truth about his past was where she drew her own line. Christ, she didn’t even know if he was still in a relationship with the mother of his child. In a way, Gabe’s unwillingness to say anything spoke volumes.

****

Gabe was starting to sweat. Lianna was a smart woman and understoodIt’s complicated, meantI’m not talking about it. At least not yet. She didn’t push, which he appreciated. Maybe that’s why he wanted to open his mouth again and dump the whole long convoluted story on her. But then she really wouldrun, and he couldn’t handle the stress of losing Lianna at the same time as fighting Jacob’s mother.

Deep down, he knew he might lose Lianna anyway by not confiding in her. It was inevitable that the cracks in his walls would start to crumble. There was no way Lianna could be in his life and not find out. Although he hated lying to her, Gabe just couldn’t risk it yet.

She deserves better, the nagging voice in his head taunted.Just a little more time to think out a solution, he fought with himself. Giving up on Lianna, on them, was not an option he took lightly. Gabe vowed to tell her everything once he figured out how.

“I just don’t get it.” Lianna sounded tired, defeated, as she resumed looking out the window. “You want me to trust you, but you don’t trust me. I really know nothing about you, just that things arecomplicated.”

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