Page 38 of Pining for Pierce

“Yeah. Really. There’s never gonna be anyone for me but her.”

“You don’t think you’re over-reacting? After all, you only started seeing Monica on Saturday, and here we are less than a week later, and you’ve met the one and only woman for you?”

“Exactly,” he says. “That’s exactly what she is. The one and only. I’ve never felt this way before… about anyone.” He stopstalking, tips his head and says, “I want forever with this woman, Harley. I want the rest of my life… and hers.”

I wonder if he knows how much this hurts. Although he can’t, can he? He doesn’t realize how much I’ve longed to hear him say words like this about me… how much I want to be his one and only.

“If you’re so sure about her, why do you need me?” I ask, my voice sounding stronger and more normal than I would have expected.

“Because I’ve screwed up.”

I shake my head, looking up into his perfect face, and trying not to sigh out my regret. “Are you telling me you’re not even dating this woman yet, and you’ve already screwed up?”

“Yeah. I’ve screwed up so badly, I’m not sure she’ll even look at me, let alone talk to me. As for a date, or the thought of forever…” His voice fades and he shakes his head, the picture of remorse.

Part of me wants to ask what he did, but I’m a little scared about the answer, so I say, “Maybe you’ll just have to accept the situation.”

“And live without her? Are you kidding?”

“No.”

“But I don’t think I can.”

“Honestly, Pierce. Don’t you think you’re being a little melodramatic?”

“Not in the slightest.”

“But how can you say all that about someone you don’t even know yet?”

“Because I do know her,” he says, surprising me. “I’ve known her for ages.”

“I’m sorry?” I sit up straight, staring him right in the eye. “You’ve dated so many women over the years. Are you telling me you’ve had this woman in the background all along?”

“No. Not in the way you mean. She’s been there… yes, but I’ve never thought of her romantically until… well, until this week, actually.”

My heart sinks even further. There’s no escaping the sparkle in his eyes as he talks about this woman, and while he’s been enthusiastic before, when talking about the women he’s planning to see, he’s never been like this. What makes it so much worse is, he already knows her. There won’t be the usual pitfalls of him discovering she’s not what he thought, or that he’s made some mistake about her. This won’t be a passing fling. It’ll be so much more than that, and although I’ve been telling myself that friendship is okay, and it’s better than nothing, I can’t help feeling disappointed. It’s a feeling I’m more than used to when it comes to Pierce, but this time it matters… more than ever. The thing is, I don’t matter to him, not in the same way, and now what I really need is for him to go.

“If you truly wanna be with her, then make the effort,” I say, desperate for him to leave.

“How?”

“Send her flowers, say sorry, be romantic.”Just stop asking me questions like this.

“What kind of flowers?” he says.

“I don’t know. Red roses, I guess. Isn’t that what men usually send?”

“Do they?”

“How would I know? No-one’s ever sent me flowers.” I stand up, which seems to surprise him, and he gets to his feet, looking down at me. “I don’t know what else to say, but if you want her that much, do whatever you have to. Okay?”

“Okay.”

And then will you leave me alone?I wish I had the heart to say that out loud. But I don’t.

Which I guess means I’ll have to keep hearing about ‘her’ and how perfect she is. That’s a horrible thought, but what choice do I have? I can’t cut him out of my life, can I? He’s my brother’s best friend. He works for my parents… and I love him. Even if he’ll never love me.

“Is that it?” I say, remembering to speak.

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