Page 69 of Deadly Sights

Hidden Truths

Nothing fills the gaping abyss long abandoned.

Avoidance sustains the vacant heart allowing it to beat a hollow sound

While false comfort places blindfolds over my eyes.

To protect my vision, it says, yet all around danger surrounds me.

Or am I the danger threatening my comfort?

What lies beyond the emptiness?

Does it seek to destroy and remake me?

Or does it desire my capitulation?

Do I dare remove the covering and see the world

Or continue to hide and pray I’ve found happiness in this tenuous reality?

— JANINE MCFARLANE

Creative Gifts

Yolanda searched inside the training facility for Julian. She went from room to room scanning faces as quickly as her brain could process. When he didn’t appear anywhere, she jogged outside. She spied a familiar silhouette walking toward the dorms and raced to catch him.

“Julian!” She grabbed his arm and spun him around. The misery on his face threw her off. “What’s wrong?”

Julian glanced around, then led her to their secret fort. “They told me to pack my bags. A car will be here to pick me up in two hours.”

“But I thought they were going to give you until dinner.” Yolanda hugged his waist and hid her face in his belly. “It’s too soon.”

Julian wrapped his arms around her and squeezed. “I don’t want to leave either, but remember my promise.”

Yolanda nodded. “You’re my forever family.”

“That’s right. No matter where you are or what you’re going through, I’m always going to be your family. And when we’re older…”

“I’m going to make you my husband.”

Julian kissed her forehead. “And I’ll make you my wife.”

Yolanda pulled from his arms, her eyes gleaming like wet onyx. “I’ll help you pack and stay with you until you have to leave.”

The solemn pair walked toward the dorm, the weight of their sadness blanketed them. As Julian packed up his belongings,Yolanda reached out to him but pulled her hand back without uttering a word. She had something she needed to tell him, but his imminent departure meant he would suffer alone. She couldn’t abide that. She’d hold the pain on his behalf until a better time, not that there was such a thing.

Time and again, she fought the impulse to reach out to him and share what she discovered. In the end, Yolanda sat and listened as Julian painted a picture of their lives when they got out. It sounded like heaven to her. She loved Julian the way her mom loved her dad; wholeheartedly and unconditionally. That was why she never feared being separated from him despite not liking the circumstances.

Yolanda’s faith in Julian and his promises to her was stronger than steel and would last longer than Egyptian pyramids. He wouldn’t forget her.

“Alright, that’s everything, except this.” Julian took her hands and drew her close before pulling an object from his pocket. “In case you outgrow the one you’re wearing, I made you eight more; one for every year we’ll be separated.” He placed five grass rings in her palm and closed her fingers over them. “Know that when I give these to you, it’s not a mere promise, but a piece of my heart. You hold within your hands the power to destroy me and give me the greatest gift on earth.”

She placed her free hand over her heart and the hemp necklace lying next to her skin. “I’ll treasure these for the rest of my life even after we meet again.”

Julian took her free hand, retrieved his suitcase, and walked out of the dorm without looking back. As they waited in front of the orphanage, words failed them. When they spied the oncoming car, Yolanda pressed his hand and ran, unable to face watching him walk away. She didn’t want the last image he had of her to be with tears free falling from her eyes. She wassupposed to be the emotionally mature one, never losing her cool.

But knowing she wouldn’t see him for years when she spent a part of every day with him was unbearable. And she wouldn’t let him see her pain. She found a spot where she could observe him from afar because no matter how devastating watching her heart walk away was; she needed to memorize this last image of him. He was tall, confident, and…sad. Despite his apparent conflict, Yolanda watched him load the car and enter it, disappearing behind the closed door.

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