Page 100 of Between Now and Forever

I slump in my chair. But I don’t give up.

“Can’t I come home and meet someone there?”

She stares at me intently as if she’s trying to decide whether or not to tell me something.

Then, in an alarmingly sudden change of expression, her face crumbles and she hunches over, hands in her lap as she cries.

“I’m having a girl, Liz.” Her eyes fill with tears and she looks down at her lap.

“Why do you make that sound like a death sentence?” I ask, alarmed by her tears.

She shakes her head fast, and when she looks up at me her eyes are full of tears.

“It’s not that. It’s that your father is going to leave me if I don’t give him a son, and then he’ll find a way to keep my daughter from me. The way he kept you from your mother. And then, he’ll treat her the way he’s treated you.” She wails, and then drops her face into her hands and sobs.

Her words couldn’t have been better aimed or better timed. A month ago, I would have said, “No shit, sherlock.”

The old adage misery loves company is one of life’s most reliable truths. So, in my own hell, I welcome the opportunity to hold someone else’s hands while they dangle over the flames. Even if in her case, she laid every brick in the walls she’s now lamenting.

Today, I feel sorry for her. I see her as more than just the woman my father married to replace my mother. I see the same powerless woman as myself.

She sniffles loudly and then looks at me with pitiful eyes.

“Fiona, what can I do?” I ask.

She straightens and wipes away her tears with her hands.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you. I want to try and do something about that now though.”

“What do you mean?”

She makes quick work of regaining her composure and sits up alert and focused.

“You’re a good person and you don’t deserve what he’s doing to you. I mean, he’s basically kidnapped you. I hate this for you.”

“Well, thanks. I wish you’d said this to him when he was sending me away.”

She looks regretful and nods as if in agreement. This is odd.

“There was no reasoning with him. And he doesn’t ever listen to me. But now, I can’t take the chance that one day he’ll change. The only way I can make sure my daughter is safe is if you are in her life. When he kicks me out and won’t let me near her,” she sounds so wretched that I forget my own problems completely.

I look at her belly. That’s my sister. My own flesh and blood. Another daughter for my father to ruin.

The excitement I feel is momentary as reality rushes in.

“Fiona, I’ve got nothing.”

She shakes her head vigorously.

“That’s not true. You’ve got that money. Once you’re married, you’ll be rich and you won’t need him, and you can help her like James wanted to help you.”

The mention of James touches a raw place inside of me. I remember him saying that it was his obligation as my older brother to help me. I look to her stomach and understand now why he’d been so blasé giving up his dreams so I could have mine.

That’s my little sister. It’s my turn to step up. But…

“I need to get married to get that money. What if none of the men Daddy would approve of would be any better than him? They may even find a way to take it from me.”

Fiona takes my hand in hers.

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