Page 109 of Between Now and Forever

“You loved him. We all know that. You deserve to have someone in your life. And unlike me, you have a track record of getting people to stick around for longer than a night,” I say and laugh to mask how vulnerable saying that aloud makes me feel.

Nothing gets past my mother, though. That look in her eyes is back.

“Oh, baby. It's amazing how soft your heart is under that unaffected exterior of yours. You fell so hard for her, so fast. Maybe this trip you two can work things out. There was so much stuff going on last year. Maybe now that you’re both a little removed from your grief--”

I put a finger on her lips to silence her.

“Mom, it was a week, hardly enough time to fall in love.”

“Are you kidding? I fell in love with your father in an hour.”

I roll my eyes. “That’s called infatuation.”

She shakes her head.

“I’m telling you, I walked out of that first lecture and called my mom and told her I’d met the man I was going to marry. We hadn’t even said hello.”

“I’m happy for you. But, it takes two to tango and Liz made her feelings clear.”

“Did she?” She raises an eyebrow and I decide that I’ve had enough.

“I gotta get dressed. My car should be here any minute.”

She sighs deeply. “Maybe you’re right. I could have misread things.”

Even though she’s only agreeing with me, I feel annoyed by her choosing this moment to lose hope, too.

I secretly liked her optimism about that situation. It allowed me a vicarious reprieve from my pessimistic view.

“The change of scene will be good.”

“It’s true. You’re a homebody in a city that doesn’t sleep. Winsome might be more your speed. Just don’t get any ideas about staying there.”

I walk her out and feel a tremendous sense of guilt for not telling her what I’ve found out about my brother. The PI got a hit on some names and said that three of them were last listed as living in Winsome. None of the names mean anything and none of them have a social media presence I can confirm. So, I’m headed down there tonight.

If there’s a chance that I have a sibling out there, I’m desperate to meet him. To see if we look alike. I’ve always envied Nadia and Jack for their similar laughs, and nearly identical smiles.

Excitement replaces my guilt. If it all works out, I’ll tell her about him. I just know the minute I say anything, she’ll ask me a million questions I can’t answer. And…I kind of want to have this to myself.

When we come out of the tunnel on my way to the airport, my phone buzzes with a voice mail. It’s from Mick.

“Hey man. Hope you get this before you catch your flight. I got another hit, and this one is a dead ringer. Top of my list, I think this could be him. He’s got an IG profile. I sent you the link. Check your IG DMs. Since you don’t follow me back, it’s in the request.”

I open the app and open my requests. I have hundreds. God, these are the days I miss my old life. Having an assistant to do this shit made life much easier.

I'm about to open the one from @PIMike when another handle catches my name.

@EWolfeWings.

Could it be?

I stare, frozen by indecision and surprise.

My finger hovers over the name and my heart feels like it’s attached to a highspeed motor. But, there’s a flare of hope in my gut, too. Maybe, just maybe, this trip back to Winsome is happening for more than just one reason.

It’s dated four months ago.

I let out the breath I’m holding and start to read.

---