Page 19 of Between Now and Forever

I never forgot that day…or his extremely delicate ego.

So, I bite back the laugh his talk of marrying a royal induces.

Besides his exceptionally good looks, there’s nothing all that remarkable about him. He was a terrible student, a second-string football player, and of his brothers, he’s the least accomplished. He works for his father, but it’s not really clear that he does anything more than book his travel and stay out of his way.

I can’t imagine that a princess, no matter how minor, wouldn’t have better prospects than him.

I may not be a prize, but at least I’m not delusional.

“We have that in common, you and I,” he says conversationally.

“What’s that?” I ask, not following his train of thought.

“Your brother gets everything; so do mine. We both gotta marry money if we want to keep living this life.”

James’ warning floats back into my head. Not that I think he would actually be interested in me even if he did know, but I don’t tell him how wrong he is.

“Or, we could just earn it ourselves,” I say under my breath.

He winks at me, his grin lopsided and cocky. “Since I was your first, maybe when we’re both tied down with our rich ball and chains, I can be your hall pass. That night was pretty hot.”

At the mention of that evening, my tolerant amusement disappears.

“I’ll have to take your word for what happened. I don’t remember enough to say." I try my best not to sound accusatory. I don’t want to start another argument with him.

He laughs to himself, shaking his head as if he’s enjoying a fond memory. I don’t want to even try to imagine what he’s remembering. I can’t believe I let him do that to me.

“Oh man…after we were…done, you were knocked out. Fucked you so deep, put your ass to sleep.”

He’s still laughing, but there’s something sinister in the way he said that, and it makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I press myself to the door, putting as much distance between us as I can.

I remember how sore every part of my body had been. I’d cried tears of relief when my period showed up a few days later because I’m not on birth control, and I couldn’t remember if he’d used a condom.

I look at him now, and I can’t believe that thirty minutes ago, I was thinking about him being my book boyfriend in disguise.

What a joke.I’m such a fool.

“You’re fun to party with. There’ll be lots of liquor there tonight.”

The thought of alcohol makes me queasy.

“I don’t plan on drinking much,” I say.

“Well, my friend will be there and we can get at it again like we did. He liked you. And he didn’t see you that morning so he doesn’t know about…” He draws a circle in the air next to his left cheek.

I don’t say anything. I just turn the volume on the radio up again, louder than it was before.

But, I don’t hear the music. My heart slams against my chest, and I stare straight ahead, grateful that my sunglasses are hiding my unshed tears.

I yank the mirror in front of me open and examine my face. I turn and let the light catch my cheek. The makeup lives up to all its promise of full, flawless coverage. My skin looks perfect.

Yet, what felt like a shield, now just feels like a lie. The only person I’m fooling is myself. I can’t wear make up every second of my life. At some point, anyone I’m with will see my birthmark and they’ll be disgusted. And tonight, why did I bother. Everyone there knows me. Even if they can appreciate the mirage, they’ll never forget that underneath all of this, I’m flawed.

My daydreams about Duke were delusions.

He’ll never wantme. For the same reasons a princess wouldn’t want him. He thinks I’m not good enough for him. He just wants to fuck me tonight. If I say no, he’ll probably completely ignore me altogether.

I snap the mirror shut and pull out my phone. My finger hovers over James’s name; my stomach swirls with indecision and humiliation as I contemplate asking him to make his way to the lake now.

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