Page 24 of Between Now and Forever

“Give me my phone,” I demand. He holds it over my head, and when I make a leap for it and miss, his friends laugh.

I whirl around to face Duke. “Get it from him!” I snap, my inhibitions and fears melting away.

He looks up sharply, his expression unreadable before he looks down at Etta as if I should direct the question at her.

She nestles even closer to him, but doesn’t take her eyes off me.

Her eyes burn with a contempt I don’t understand, but canfeelas surely as I feel the sweat rolling down my back.

“Duke!” I turn to plead with him. My voice shakes. There is an ache in the back of my throat and dread fills my gut like a pile of rocks when neither one of them say anything.

He won’t even look at me.

Etta speaks up. “You wanna go home? You’ll wait until we’re done. You’re not going to ruin our party by calling your brother, so he can call your daddy.”

I turn back to the guy who’s still holding my phone.

The sun is blazing down on us, and cold prickles in my chest, but I still manage to croak. “Give that back, please.” My hands curl into fists at my helplessness.

Etta groans and wrinkles her nose in disgust.

“Ugh. Give her the stupid phone before she cries. It’s dead anyway.” She plucks my phone from her friend’s hand and drops it on the ground.

“We’re leaving. Have a fun time. Try not to drown,” she says with a false sweetness and a vengeful curve of her lips. She snaps her fingers,actuallysnaps her fingers, as she turns, and her little entourage—Duke included—turns and follows her.

I pick up my phone and find that it is indeed dead. I stand there, trying not to panic, but the effort is draining, and I’m deflated. My humiliation is only outdone by my feelings of powerlessness and self-loathing.

Get ahold of yourself, Clover.

I cringe at my unintentional use of that name. It’s what my mother called me. Thinking of her now feels like rubbing salt in that wound. Somehow, all of this feels like her fault.

How am I to know how to be a woman and handle things like this when I didn’t have anyone to show me?

I go through the breathing exercises James taught me to help calm down after I started having nightmares. He was away at college, and Phil had just done his first act.

In the middle of this crowd, I force myself to focus on my breathing and heartbeat until both start to steady.

Once I’m relaxed, I open my eyes and assess my surroundings.

There are groups of people congregating at mini campsites set up all along the sandy bank. Music blares from speakers, and curls of smoke slither up from grills and campfires carrying the smell of burning wood and charred meat into the air.

There’s a volleyball net set up at the far end of the shore, and people are swimming, canoeing, or out on paddle boats in the middle of the huge lake. My senses are sharper. Everything is clearer, brighter, louder, more colorful suddenly, and I have a passing thought about the liquid I swallowed.

Surrounded by all of these people, in their happy bubbles of friendship and carefree enjoyment, I’ve never felt more alone in all my life.

I can’t believe my phone died.

What if Duke won’t take me home?I push back that flare of worry.

Duke isn’t going to leave me out here or do anything that would draw the ire of my father or brother.

He’ll take me home whenever he gets tired of this game he’s playing. I just have to wait them out.

I look over to where they’re lounging on beach chairs and decide to get as far away from them as possible until it’s time to go. I also need water and to get out of this dress.

I look around and notice a large group on the other side of the lake. It looks like a children’s birthday party. Bright balloons are tied to the trees, and a dozen kids are gathered around a pinata that one of them is swinging a stick at.

They may not notice someone sneaking up and grabbing a bottle of water. I decide to take my chances and head over there. As I walk, a man crossing the dock ahead of me, catches my eyes. He’s carrying a pair of water skis on his shoulder down the pier toward where the boats are docked.

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