Page 26 of Between Now and Forever

Jack laughs. “He’ll come ‘round.”

He sounds so sure. I’m not convinced. My father has made his feelings on my career choices clear. He’s been my manager since I was old enough to need one. He’s also the executive producer and creator of our family reality show that I was fired from last year after only a few episodes.

I’ve spent the last few months doing whatever he asks in the hopes he’ll let me back on.

So far, he’s refusing to consider it. But, he’s dangled a carrot in front of me – if I can complete a successful European tour, including a two month stint with the Vienna Orchestra, he’ll consider it.

“If I’d known what I know now, I would have held onto Camille like my life depended on it. A good woman like that doesn’t come along in our world.” Jack says suddenly, and I don’t bother hiding my groan.

Any talk of his ex-girlfriend is the world’s biggest buzzkill.

“You know I’m right, Jimbo. She was the best thing that ever happened to me.”

I ignore his use of my childhood nickname because he sounds so damn despondent.

“I say a prayer of thanks every single night that she’s gone. And you should, too. She fucked with your head.”

He stares out at the campfire, unseeing and shakes his head in disagreement.

“She gave me clarity. It’s my bad that I only realized she was the one after I lost her,” he says.

“Well, clearly you were wrong. If she was the one, she’d be here.”

He laughs and shakes his head at me.

“Man, it doesn’t work like that. Timing is everything. It doesn’t matter how bad you want that slice of caramel cheesecake if the store is out of it.”

I narrow my eyes at his analogy and then poke holes in it.

“But…since we’re at the store…we have choices. If they’re out of caramel, I’ll just get strawberry.”

He looks impressed but still shakes his head. “Strawberries aren’t in season, and they use frozen ones to make that cheesecake. And when you bite into it, you can tell the difference right away.”

“It’s just cheesecake. Who cares?” I ask.

He claps a hand on my shoulder.

“And therein lies your problem, youngin’. It’s not just any old cheesecake. It’sthecheesecake. The one that sets your taste buds on fire and ruins you for all other cheesecake for the rest of your life. Sure, you can get a different one, but you’ll never find one made just for you.”

“Okay, I don’t even like cheesecake, and I don’t know why we’re using it as code for women, but I’m bored and I’m going to swim.”

I stand and stretch, water-skiing this afternoon wore me out, but I want to get one more good swim in before the sun sets completely.

“I’m going back to the house. I’ll take your phone with me so no one picks it up.”

“Cool. I’ll be in soon.” We slap hands in a parting high five. I grip his hand and help pull him to his feet.

“Wow, I thought you’d say forget it if it meant me taking your phone.” He slips it into his pocket and looks impressed.

“I like the fresh air, and I like swimming. Go ahead. I’ll catch up.” I slip my shirt off.

I shrug.My phone and I are generally inseparable. But since my whole life went to shit, I find it a source of stress and anxiety because I can’t help but google myself. The reception here has been pretty bad all week. The first few days were a bit of an adjustment, but now I only reach for it when I want to read the books or listen to music I downloaded before we got here.

I can’t believe we’ve been here a week. It went by really fast, and there’s this weird pang I get in my chest every time I think about leaving. There’s something nice about being here. I feel relaxed in a way I haven’t in a long time and I’m finally starting to write music again.

“Okay, don’t be long though. Dad—”

“Tell Dad I’m fine. Haven’t had a drink, and I haven’t gotten into any fights,” I say through clenched teeth, and then I turn and head to the lake. I can feel his eyes on me as I walk away, and under his scrutiny, my skin feels too small for my body.

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