Don’t mess this up, Liz. Let tonight be nothing but good.

I cup his cheek and turn his face until he’s looking at me again. This time, my smile reaches my eyes. “I’m not thrilled at the prospect of your mother coming and finding us here. She’s been really nice to me. I don’t want her to think I’m just like one of your half naked, cool drunk girls.”

He grimaces. “I can’t believe she told you that.” He lets out a long resigned breath and puts his hands on my hips to steady me before he steps back. Once I’m on my feet I step out of his hold and open the door to the bedroom.

“I’ll see you later?” I smile.

He grabs my hand, presses a kiss to the back of it. “I’ll be back. Wait for me. I want to kiss you like that everywhere.” I watch him walk away, admiring the broad, straight set of his shoulders and the way they strain the seams of the blue t-shirt he’s wearing. His long, muscular legs, left bare by his white board shorts eat up the floor and in seconds he’s on the stairs and disappearing down them.

I close the door behind me and then press my back to it while I try to strategize what to do when he comes back.

It’s half hope and half dread as I imagine him coming back and what will happen when he does. If I go to sleep with this stuff on my face, it’ll rub off on the pillow overnight. It’s been on all day and I haven’t reapplied the stuff that makes it set. It’s gotta be on its last legs and I should wash it off before I fall asleep.

But that would mean he’d see it. And then, he wouldn’t look at me like that anymore. Not when he can have anyone he wants.

“He probably dates models.”

“Don’t mind that devil, it’s you he’s kissing like your mouth is the source of his life’s blood.”

I put a lid on my conflicted subconscious. I need to think.

I walk over to the mirror and I look at the girl there. The make-up is doing its job. It just looks like I have really nice skin. God, that it was true. Because the woman staring back at me with bright eyes and kiss-plumped lips is a beauty I’ve never seen before.

And yet, I recognize her instantly. This is who I wish the world could see when they look at me. This is the woman inside of me. Carter Bosh, it turns out, is her muse.

I’m going to take this unexpected boon.

The make-up looks like it’ll hold, at least long enough for me to enjoy the rest of the evening with him.

Yes, the higher I let him take me tonight, the farther I’ll have to fall when it all goes away in the morning.

Because as always, the sun will rise and bring its disinfecting light that won’t let me hide anything.

I’ll go back to my real life, even if the re-entry burns. For more of what we just did, it will be worth it.

I lie down with the feel, taste, and smell of Carter all over me, and while I wait, I float on a cloud of good fortune and lust.

6

THIS IS REAL

CARTER

“I don’t wantto work while I’m here. And I’m going on that fucking tour. Isn’t that enough?”

“Carter!” my mother admonishes.

“If I had half your talent—”

“But you don’t,” I snap and my father’s face shutters. I sigh, tired of this argument.

“I’m sorry, dad. I know you worked hard to book the tour, I’m just tired. And I hate going away right now when you’re just getting well again.”

My dad sighs, his expression softening.

“We’ll have the next month, son. This interview will be great to build buzz on the tour.”

“I thought it was sold out?” I ask.