Page 61 of Between Now and Forever

“What?” I ask, the astonishment I feel dragging the word out of me in a long exhale.

He doesn’t even blink.

I’m reeling.

“James, hold on. You don’t…loveher?”

“No. The woman I love…she's married to someone else. And all because our parents didn’t approve.”

I feel like he just sucker-punched me, and my eyes bulge in complete amazement.

“You’re inlovewith someone else?” I lurch back, my eyes wide to show how scandalized I am by his confession.

“Dina.”

Oh God.Dina is my best friend. More like my sister, and she’s married to his best friend, Wes. My stomach twists at the thought that he’s loved her all this time.

“Does she know?” I ask.

“Yes,” he says, his voice heavy with regret.

“Does Wes know?”

He nods slowly. My heart aches for him.

“Does…she love you, too?” I hold my breath.

“It doesn’t matter. It’s too late.”

“Oh my God. What are you going to do?”

“I couldn’t do that to Erin or Wes.”

My heart squeezes in sympathy and a sense of helplessness.

“Oh, James. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t wait until you almost lose everything to realize what matters. You have got to promise me that you won’t let dad keep you here.”

I reach up to brush away the tear that escapes the tightly controlled corner of my eye.

“Damn you. Why are you talking like this?”

“Because I love you. And, I know you want nothing more than for Dad to see you.”

“No, I don’t,” I argue.

“Liz, it’s me. And it’s okay. He’s your father, your only present, somewhat anyway, parent. I understand. The part of me that cares about him wants his approval, too. I’m not going to tell you what to do. Only you can know that. But if I could choose for you, I’d send you far away.”

“So I could be completely by myself?” I say in mock horror.

“Yourself is all you need, kid. But I want you to get out there and live. You’ve got something to offer the world.”

“What if the world doesn’t want it?”

“Be brave; you’ll find that what’s meant for you. And it’ll be exactly what you need.”

“I’m not brave. I’m afraid all the time.” I say, self-loathing nearly choking me.

---