Page 82 of Between Now and Forever

“No…please,” I cry and lunge at his back.

He grunts in revulsion and throws me off. I scramble after him, I start begging for my life.

“I know I’m not good. I’ll do whatever you say. I promise. I won’t go anywhere. I’ll stay home all the time. Just please, let me stay here. I just need to be near you. You’re all I have left—” I choke on the words.

“I don’t want you here.” He sounds tired and I can feel him standing over me, but I don’t look up. I can’t. The heel on my neck won’t let me.

“You’re my daughter; there’s no cutting you loose. No matter how badly I want to. But it’s time you started earning your keep.”

And then, like I’m nothing, he shakes me off and walks away.

My stepmother glides out of her corner. In fact, I don’t hear her until she’s standing in front of me. Her eyes shine bright with fervor as she stares down at me. An odd smile plays on her lips.

“Pain is an excellent teacher, Lizzy. Be a good student,” And then, she turns to leave.

I sit there for a long while. I take myself through countless scenarios. Maybe I should open my window and jump. I should go downstairs and try begging. Or maybe I refuse to go and fight. I picture myself being dragged out kicking and screaming.

But, after what I did to James, how can I ask for anything more than his scorn? I can’t stand myself either. Disgust and shame move my stomach like a tsunami, and it heaves. I barely make it to the bathroom before I throw up.

15

DISASTER

CARTER

3 MONTHS LATER

A weekafter I last spoke to her, I called Beth. Her phone went straight to voice mail. Right away, I was sure something was wrong.

Was she in trouble? Did her dad find out about us?

I slipped our satellite phone into my pack when no one was looking to use it when I couldn’t get a signal. I knew it was wrong. We’d left the charger, and once it was depleted, that was it. But, I had to call her. And I tried every day after we stopped to make camp.

She never answered. Not once in two weeks.

Was she blowing me off? Had she changed her mind?

That night we spent together was real.

The way she looked at me was real.

The way she kissed me was real.

Nadia called it wishful thinking. How well could I know her after just a couple nights? I didn’t bother to explain. She wouldn’t understand just how wrong she was. Something happened over the course of the week.

I’m not saying I fell in love, but for the first time in my life, I felt like that wasn’t some farfetched pipe dream.

I met a woman who I liked, who I felt an instant sense of connection with, and who felt the same.

The more time I spent out there with my family, the more I felt sure Beth was exactly who I needed to meet at the time. It wasn’t a coincidence and it wasn’t a figment of my imagination.

So, I didn’t worry that I couldn’t reach her. Once I got home and could talk to her any time I wanted, everything would be fine.

We were supposed to hike as much of the trail as we could in the month my father allotted for it. We started in Maine and worked our way south.

It is, by far, the most challenging part of the trail. It’s also the most beautiful and unspoiled. It felt like stepping back in time. Each day meant a grueling climb. Nights were spent in leaky, drafty shelters along the trail. If the shelters were already occupied, we set up camp out in the open. We cooked over campfires every couple of days, but otherwise lived on the dried fruit and meat we carried in abundant supply.

The hardest part was a 113-mile stretch that plays out like a topographical game of connect the dots. There are seven, 4,000-plus foot peaks and thirteen others topping 3,000 feet with significant elevation gain and loss between each.

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