Page 89 of Between Now and Forever

“You look like shit, man. You all right?”

“Nope, but I’ve been worse.”

The window rolls down and Chloe sticks her head out. “Um, I don’t want to keep Jackson waiting. Is your call over with?”

“Sorry, just making sure he knows where to go. I’ve had him before and sometimes he gets lost.”

She shudders. “Oh, well thank you. Today would be a terrible day to get lost.” She rolls the window up.

Mick gives me the middle finger and I grin.

“Where should I take her?”

“Somewhere on the Lower East. You pick.”

I’m grinning as I walk back into my building and this time, my phone buzzes for real. My grin fades when I realize what it is. A cold sweat pops up on my neck. I can’t believe it.

The notification is simple. It says. “You have a match.”

A month ago, I was coming out of my skin. I was back from Europe, back on the show, but not enjoying it. My role was firmly cemented as the broody, aloof concert pianist. On a whim, I signed up for the DNA website and went through the process of sending them a sample. And now, the moment of reckoning is here.

I open it to a page with my profile picture in a Ven Diagram with another profile that only has a gray circle with the initial SK instead of a profile picture.

I read the rest:

DNA RESULTS

You and Susan Kendicott share 3300 cM. This table shows the percentage of the time people sharing 3300 cM have the following relationship.

Ninety-nine percent of people have the relationship of parent or full sibling.

I click the profile and find that the account has the bare minimum information. I bite the bullet and do what I should have done months ago and hire a PI.

* * *

It’s3:00 a.m. when I stumble into the house. Everyone is asleep except for the light crew that stays awake in the kitchen to film if something crazy happens in the middle of the night.

On Jack’s show nothing ever happens in the middle of the night and they’re all fast asleep in the family room.

I grab a bottle of Jack and pluck the joint I bought from the guy at the bar out of my pocket and go to the piano room.

I almost sigh in relief when I see her. I need to get so much out of my system. I sit down and start to play the first song that comes to mind, Roberta Flack’s “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face.”

It makes me think of Beth. But everything makes me think of her. And alone in the dark with just me in my sanctuary, I let myself crumble under the weight of everything that’s happened.

Tomorrow is going to bring reckonings and hard decisions, but tonight, I just want to pour myself out on my piano and let her heal me.

It won’t be until tomorrow that I’ll realize that my private breakdown was recorded.

18

MOTIVATION

LIZ

I’min the kitchen with Hilde and Serene, rolling out dough to make pie crusts to freeze for my grandmother’s annual Thanksgiving bacchanal this weekend. The house is in a frenzy getting ready for the guests and I’m excited to be caught up in it. Working side by side with these women feels good. We’ve been laughing all day and my crusts get better with each batch.

The television is on CNN because Serene is watching the election results in Germany.

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