Page 106 of Between Now and Forever

I level my doorman with a withering glance. “You’re lucky I like you, man.”

He shrugs, completely unconcerned. “She’s your moms, yo. You should talk to her. Ain’t right. I’d give my right arm to talk to my mother again.”

“Thank you, Paul. And I’m sorry you lost your mother; she obviously got something very right with you.” She puts a hand on her shoulder and then looks at me, hope lighting her eyes.

“Hi honey,” she says, her tone tentative, her smile hopeful as I approach.

“Mom. What are you doing here?” I ask. I know that if something were really wrong, I would have heard from Nadia.

She smiles. “Can we go up to your place, please?”

I only hesitate for a minute and then nod. She falls in step beside me as we walk to the elevators.

We get on the elevator and ride in complete silence to my apartment.

We’re inside. I’ve made coffee and we’re sitting at my dining room table when I finally speak again.

“Why are you here?”

She squeezes her mug so tightly her knuckles turn white.

“Because I miss my son. I know you’re going through things. I was trying to give you space, but when Nadia finally told me what you’re planning, I was worried.”

“Why?” I ask and immediately wish I hadn’t been so flippant. Her eyes grow wide, and she puts her palms flat on the table the way she does when she’s trying to avoid throwing something.

“You’ve spent all that money renting a room in a bed and breakfast in fucking, Texas, when you should have put it in a bank account and saved it. Or used it to move out of this hovel.” She looks around my apartment in disdain.

“The money is nothing.” I shrug, ignoring the dip in my gut the lie causes when it leaves my lips. It’s actually everything. But Ineededto go back to Winsome. I needed a place to live and I found the only house in town that had a piano. Sure, they wanted a mint for it, but I like to think my father would have been glad I was doing this.

She slaps the table.

“Since when did money become nothing? Do you think that because you didn’t earn it, no one did? That money is supposed to be your down payment on your life.Yourchildren’s lives. Not for you to throw away on a whim. Especially when you’ve thrown your lucky break away like it was nothing.”

Her voice is tight with controlled impatience.

“I’m sorry my need to get away is a whim. I don’t understand why you’re upset,” I ask, trying to lighten the mood.

My question has the exact opposite effect. She explodes.

“Because you’re moving toTexas, Carter! To a town where your only connection is your dead father. You’re turning down the chance of a lifetime for reasons you won’t share with anyone. You’re leaving your work, your home, your family when you need all three of those things more than ever.”

My hackles rise. But then I remember that she doesn’t know everything. So, I tell her what I told my sister. It’s the truth. Just not all of it.

“That was the last place I wrote music worth anything. I need to get that back, Mom. It’s torture not being able to play.”

That seems to do the trick. The fight goes out of her. She looks tired, and even though she’s nearly six feet tall, she looks fragile. The last few months have taken a lot out of all of us. I give her a hug and she wraps her arms around me, too.

“It’s just a few months. You won’t even have time to miss me.”

She disentangles herself from our embrace and looks up at me, her expression still full of worry.

“Are we okay? I don’t want to lose you.”

“We’re fine. And yes. I’m sorry. I’ve had my head up my ass for months. But I shouldn’t have shut you out. I’m just—a little out of sorts. But we are always fine.”

I chuck her under the chin softly and she smiles, reluctantly.

“That’s my girl."

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