Page 28 of Between Now & Heartbreak

“You’re crazy.”

“That’s right. And you’re fucked.”

When she turns to look at me, the pity in her eyes makes me flinch. I don’t deserve it. Her scorn from earlier wasn’t displaced.

She doesn’t know this is a sham and

I know what I look like standing next to Duke.

Even though our relationship isn’t real, the humiliation heating my cheeks, is.

I can’t look at her anymore, but I force myself to look her in the eye. She deserves that much from me at least.

“I’m so sorry, Julia. I promise, you’ll get your money.”

Her expression softens a little. “I don’t know why you try to so hard to be one of them. They don’t deserve you. If I were you, I’d get out of this town and live a little.”

If Iwere me, I would, too.

“You’re a fool if you marry him. He’s a nasty piece of work. And he’s banging your friend, too,” she shoots and then stalks off, pulling the doors closed behind her with a slam. It resonates through the room and is followed by complete silence.

Duke and I sit in complete silence for a few minutes after Julia leaves.

“Clover,” I turn to Duke. His expression is an odd blend of panic and calculation.

“Don’t call me that when we’re alone.” I surge to my feet on a wave of adrenaline and stalk over to him. He stands, his hands out as if he’s preparing to catch a flying fist.

“She’s lying, I wouldn’t,” if I didn’t know him, I’d believe the earnest plea in his eyes. But this is devil I do know and he doesn’t have an earnest bone in his body.

“It doesn’t even matter if it’s true. We need to run damage control”

He groans as if he’s in agony and throws his head back. “

“I told you Ididn’ttry to fuck her. Not that I couldn’t have. And if you would start sleeping in my bed, you’d know where I was every night.” He says it like he actually believes it.

My body hums, like one of those old wind up timers right before it goes off. “That’snevergoing to happen. I know what you did to me that night. You’re lucky I didn’t call the police” I snarl at him.

He moves so fast that I don’t realize he’s getting up until he’s standing right in front of me. He takes hold of my chin in a punishing grip and his other hand lands with a firm pat on my cheek. I’m too stunned to move at first.

“Watch your fucking mouth.” His voice is smooth as silk. But flash of rage in his eyes tells the real story. He looks like the devil, for real.

I yank out of his hold and scramble to stand on the other side of the table, my heart racing from the jolt of adrenaline.

“Did youslapme?” I demand incensed, now.

He blinks, like my anger and question are startling. Then, he shuts his eyes and curses under his breath. After a few seconds he lets out a breath and opens his eyes. They’re clear, the rage I saw a few seconds ago is gone.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”

My heart rate picks up even more as he closes the distance between us. I didn’t imagine that look in his eyes just now and no one can switch off that fast.

“I’m pissed at that lying bitch who ruined everything tonight. I lost it for a second. I’m sorry, Clover.” He stops a few feet away from me and waits for me to respond.

I don’t know what to say. This is a disaster I didn’t anticipate. But all of this has been nothing like I expected.

I was desperate to get away from my grandmother. I thought pretending would be easy. But it’s getting harder and harder to look in the mirror when I’m dressed like this.

And since I saw Carter at Corks, I’ve been increasingly aware of the stark contrast between the life I want and the one I’m living.

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