Page 29 of Between Now & Heartbreak

An honest existence versus this lie.

Feelings versus obligation.

I was nauseous when replayed our disastrous encounter at the records office. The hurt in his eyes had made my knees weak. But seeing that text, and imagining how he felt receiving it, broke something in me. I can’t stop thinking how different things might be if he hadn’t received.

He might have come to look for me.

But so what? My father wouldn’t have allowed it.

The unsympathetic truth is, no matter how badly I want to, nowIcan’t allow it. I’ve got to salvage this mess and keep my promise to Cameron.

I look over at Duke. He’s pacing, scheming, and probably thinking about himself. He’s clearly chafing against the confines of our agreement. This whole thing with Julia, it’s so reckless it smacks of self-sabotage.

“Why did you go to my father to set a date?” I demand.

He flinches like something stung him and then he turns away from me before he answers. “I didn’t go see him about it.Hebrought it up when we were meeting and I wasn’t going to argue with him. He wants this done so he can assure the stockholders that he’ll have a successor when he steps away to run for governor. He thinks he can win this time, so he’s going all in.”

“He made it sound like you came to him.” I say, not hiding my disbelief.

He shakes his head in a vigorous denial. “No, I didn’t.”

“So why have you been avoiding me?” I press.

“I’ve been busy. Work is a lot.” He says, his voice growing pained, and his discomfort clear on his face.

He’s lying.

“Duke, if something is wrong, you should tell me. We may not really be a couple, but once we get married, all of our stuff becomes each other’s. We’re legally like the same person. So, I need to trust you.”

“Youcantrust me. I’ve just been working trying to learn all this shit for this job.”

“I can’t trust you to be discrete about your lovers.”

“It won’t happen again, get off my ass, please.” He

“Duke, I don’t care who you fuck. As long as it’s not me. If we do all this and don’t get the money after all...” I glare at him.

“We’ll get the money. We both need it, right? Let’s figure this out.” That desperate look is back in his eye.

Whatever he’s hiding won’t stay a secret long. I’ll just have to hope it’s nothing worse than a hidden mistress. I’m exhausted and breathing the same air as him is making me ill.

I have to keep my eyes on the prize and focus on fixing this mess. I take a deep breath and forge ahead. “Youreallymessed up. So, I can’t walk out of here like everything is okay. Everyone needs to think we broke up. Anything less won’t be believable. And we can’t risk that kind of scrutiny. It’s bad enough that Fiona knows. But she has as much to lose as we do.”

“Fine. You’re right. So, what next?” He looks as irritated and tired as I feel. I think we both need off this ride.

I tug his ring off my finger and my lungs expand like they’ve been starved for air as soon as I drop it back into his palm.

“This sucks.” His voice is sullen and I’m overcome with the urge to slap

him.

“It’ll be expected.”

He scowls but nods his head in resignation. “I guess it’s not the worst timing. I’m leaving for that trip with your father in a few days.”

I’d forgotten he was going to be away.

This is perfect. I need the time to think without him and my father pressuring me. “When you get back, we can start going out again, and eventually get back together. You can make a show of winning me back, How about that?” I say evenly, not wanting him to see a hint of my real feelings.

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