Page 39 of Between Now & Heartbreak

This is not going to end well.

For either of us.

I take a few seconds to armor up and then I stand to pay the piper.

8

A PROPER GOODBYE

BETH

“I’msorry I didn’t mean to… I mean, are you okay? I didn’t use anything, ” He breathes.

He fastens his jeans, I burn with mortification as I remember the way I practically tore them off him to get my hands on his dick.

I have very little experience, but I know what I want and I was desperate with wantinghiminside me.

So desperate I lost my entire mind.

“It’s okay. I’m uh - I’m okay.” I say, even though it’s not true. I’m not okay at all.

I just had sex with Carter in the micro fiche room of the library where anyone could walk in. I forgot myself. Like I did the night we met. Then, I left a trail of breadcrumbs that my father followed and used as justification for tightening his hold on me. I don’t think I’m being watched, but I didn’t think it when he got those pictures of us at the church.

I can’t let this happen.

“Are you sure?” He asks, again.

“Um, we need to clean up the…” I point to the thick white streaks of his cum on the floor.

“Hold on. Let me get something. I’ll be right back.”

I nod, but can’t meet his eyes.

What must he be thinking?

What wasIthinking? I don’t even know who I am right now.

The recklessness of what I just did crashes down on me. I have too much to lose. And not just me. I have Cameron to consider.

He comes back really quickly, paper towels in hand we don’t speak while he wipes the floor and I try get my panties to line up again. I realize they’re torn and give up.

“Do you want to go somewhere and talk?”

I can’t go anywhere with him. I shouldn’t even be here. Will anyone notice that I didn’t come out of the room I was just supposed to unlock?

I shake my head and his expression goes from the regret I’m feeling is thick enough to choke on.

“No. Carter, I can’t. I’m sorry it’s just… Small town, you know? Anyone could have walked in. If my father or Duke—”

“Please, don’t say his name.” His voice is ice cold, but his eyes are burning with hurt.

“I’m sorry, I just --” Is all I can manage before I tear my gaze away from the misery I see reflected on his face.

I don’t know what to say.

As far as he knows I’m still engaged. And I let him fuck against the wall of a public library. He must think I’m scum.

“I don’t know what came over me. I know that was wrong.”

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