Page 41 of Between Now & Heartbreak

I clear my throat and sit up straight so she can see how serious I am.

“I need to tell you something,”

She sits up straight, too. Her expression as serious as mine.

“Thank fuck. I’ve been waiting. I’m all ears.”

My heart is beating out of my chest.

I’m afraid she won’t respect me anymore. But, I have to trust that she’ll treat me the way I would her.

“Before I start, I want to say that I’ve I hated lying to you. I know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of that and I’m sorry.”

She smiles, reaches across the table and grabs my hand.

“It’s okay. I know your heart is always in the right place. Now quit stalling.” She says sternly, but with a small, encouraging smile.

I let go of the breath I’m holding.

“It’s a long story. And, I signed and NDA so if you tell anyone, I’ll be fucked.

“I’ve got all the time in the world for you. Always. I won’t tell a soul,” She says in a serious voice.

And then, I tell her the truth about how I ended being engaged to Duke. Not everything that led to it, shame binds those words like barbed wire.

Just the part about my father insisting on me marrying someone and that Duke and I made a deal.

When I’m done, she stares at our joined hands, and the first indication I have of how she’s feeling is the plop of a tear on top of my hand.

“Oh, Dina, don’t cry. I’m so sorry. Don’t be sad for me. I’ll be fine.”

She looks up suddenly and her eyes are blazing and narrowed to slits.

“I’m notsad. I’m fuckingangrythat you feel like this is your only choice. Your family. What is wrong with them? I wish I coulddosomething.” I’ve never see Dina look distraught and it’s hard to know it’s because of me.

I want to reassure her. “It’s okay. I’ve made this commitment and Itneedto get out from under my father’s thumb and make sure he can’t put my sister there, too.”

“At the cost of everything you want? I don’t understand why Fiona would ask this of you. She’s a fucking grown ass woman.” She shakes her head in disbelief.

“It’s what James did for me. It’s what I’m going to do in his place.”

“Oh, Lizzy, I hate this. There has to be a way that doesn’t include you throwing your while life away.” She squeezes my hand.

I squeeze hers back, but my stomach tightens because I hate it, too. But I still have to live with it.

“Duke and I have an understanding. I’m not going to spend my whole life with him. Or have kids with him. Once the money is secure we’ll split it and go our separate ways. And then, I’ll be free. Andthatis what I want more than anything.”

She leans toward me, her lip quirked in disgust. “So, what? You’re okay with him cheating on you and not even bothering to hide it?”

I wince at the memory of how everyone has been looking at me at work. It’s uncomfortable.

“It’s not really cheating. We’re not a couple. Not in the real sense.”

“That’s not what everyone else is going to think.”

“I don’tcarewhat people think.”

“You’re a 22 year old woman in twenty-first century America. Ofcourseyou care what people think.” Dina says incredulously.

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