Page 46 of Between Now & Heartbreak

“I have to go.”

She holds out a piece of paper and I take it, wordlessly.

“When you’re ready, call me.”

Then she turns and walks back to the car still idling across the street. I’m so tempted to run after her. To finish this conversation.

“Carter,” Jo’s voice is closer and annoyed.

This was the only day this week she could meet. And I know if I don’t talk to her now, I might not get another chance. And what I need to know can’t wait.

So, I slip that piece of paper in my pocket, deep so it can’t work its way out before I head back to where Jo is waiting.

11

TELL ME WHY

CARTER

I collapseonto bed after my shower. My body is exhausted, but my mind is still racing. Between my run-in with Elisabeth and my conversation with Jo about her brother- my biological father - by the time I got home, I was restless and on edge.

I replay my conversation with Jo. She’s convinced that Susan Kendicott had a lover. That she killed my father to run away with him. She has no basis for these feelings though. Other than my mother was the ruin of her brother.

“She wanted to be famous. She wanted a man who was fancy. My brother was a construction worker. Earned an honest living. She was never satisfied. She was fucking half the men in town. Who knows if my brother was even your daddy.”

I couldn’t begin to speculate whether any of that was true. I wasn’t sure that I cared. I wanted to know what happened to her first son.

She only had conspiracy theories to offer on that front.

“I never knew she had another baby. Maybe she sold him.”

I’m beginning to think that coming here was a mistake. I wanted to escape all of the shit that was going on in my life. But, instead I’ve just walked into more.

When I add my problems with Beth, it feels like I’m drowning in it.

I don’t know what to do. I woke up this morning firm in my resolve to stay away from her. Is she on the rebound? This whole thing with her and Duke is complicated enough. She says they broke up, but does that mean she’s single and wants me?

I went for a punishing, fast paced run to clear my mind. All that did was make me hungry. Not just for food.

I glance at my bedside table to check the time and my eyes fall on a piece of paper that I dropped there before I got in the shower.

It’s illuminated by the beam of moonlight shining right on it. I take it as a sign and throw caution into the wind.

If she’s keeping me awake, the very least she can do is talk to me.

I dial her number and only hesitate for a second before I hit the green icon to call her.

She answers on the second ring.

“Hello?” Her voice husky with sleep and still so silky. She’s got a voice so smooth, that the typical east Texas accent hasn’t been able to find purchase on it.

“Did I wake you?” There’s a couple seconds of silence before I hear rustling sheets.

“Oh. Carter. Hey. Hold on.” She’s clears her throat. It’s so easy to picture her. Those limpid eyes drowsy and heavy- lidded with sleep. Her face flushed, her lips puffy, all of that hair tousled, free and loose on her pillow. Her body warm and soft and ready…

I shouldn’t have called her.

“I didn’t mean to wake you, I’ll call again tomorrow.”

---