Page 48 of Between Now & Heartbreak

She lets out a low groan. “Ugh, God.Somany reasons.”

I sit up, ready to argue. “Look, someone got in our way. Our wires got crossed. Life went haywire. You were clearly in a bad place, and so was I. But I’ve never stopped wanting you. And after the library, I know you want me, too. And you’re single now, right? You told me you broke up. What’s stopping us?”

“It’s not that straight forward. Things with Duke are complicated.”

The mention of his name, the sound of it on her lips, grates on me.

“Don’t be so fucking vague, Beth. Why aren’t you wearing his ring?”

“He’s not faithful.”

“What’s complicated about that? And what’s it got do with us?”

“I’m not the same girl, Carter.” Her voice is serious and her words seem ripped from the story of my own life.

“I’m not the same either, but my feelings are exactly what they were.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Youcan’t know anything else.” I push back.

She’s quiet and I picture her chewing her lip, trying to think of what to say.

“I want to see you. Let’s switch to a video call.”

“No—”

I press the camera button without waiting for her to respond.

She answers, but all I can see is her shadow in a dark room.

“Turn on the light.”

“No. I sleep with this mask thing and I look like an alien. I only answered to be polite. But you look…nice.” She says and I smile.

“I bet you do, too. Turn the light on, ET.” I quip.

She laughs. It’s the most carefree sound I’ve heard from her in so long, I almost groan from how good it feels to know we’re not as far apart from each other as we were just a few hours ago.

“Trust me, Carter, I amnotfit for public consumption.” She says, and damn I wish I could reach through the phone and turn the light on.

“Oh. Sorry. I didn’t make myself clear. I just want to see you. The next time Ieatyou, it’ll be in private.”

She sputters a scandalized laugh.

“Oh my God…don’t talk like that!”

“Why not? Didn’t you like it when I ate your pussy?” I drawl and she gasps.

“Carter… please. I mean it. I can’t. ” There’s censure and pleading in her tone. “I came to find you today because I hate the idea of you being here, and us avoiding each other. Also, I’m in love with your music. I’ve been listening to it on YouTube. ”

My heart jumps at the way she almost groans the word love, like she’s in ecstasy.

“Maybe it’s selfish of me to ask you this. And if you really don’t want to, fine. But, I like talking to you. It’s easy. I don’t have that with anyone right now except from my friend Dina.”

I remember how alone she’d been, even surrounded by people at her brother’s funeral and it tugs at me now the way it did then.

“I like talking to you, too. I could do it all night. I wish we were talking in person.”

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