Page 49 of Between Now & Heartbreak

“I’m glad we’re not. Things in my life are…not settled. I need to figure them out. So…”

I brace myself for what’s coming.

“I think we should just be friends. What happened in the library. We can’t do that again. ” She says in a heavy, slow tone that’s full of reluctance that makes her decision harder to swallow.

“Well,Ithink that’s a terrible idea.” I say, but laugh to cover how fucking serious I am.

She’s silent.

I feel like an ass because I can hear her struggling to let me down easy.

I should tell her it’s okay.

Itshouldbe okay.

My life isn’t exactly calm either. But if she was willing, I wouldn’t let that stop me. I guess this is better than acrimony.

“Okay. Friends.” I sound like a kid who’s just agreed to eat his vegetables and she laughs.

“Is it so bad tojustbe my friend?” She sounds like she’s cringing as she waits for my answer.

Very, very bad.

“No, even though you’re terrible, I like you,” I say instead.

She lets out an audible sigh of relief.

“Thank you. I’m so glad you understand.”

“Don’t put words in my mouth. I don’t understand shit. I’m only saying yes because of the piano,” I say with a levity I don’t feel.

She giggles.

I’m glad one of us isn’t miserable.

“So, when do you want to come use it?” She asks hopefully.

“I’m flexible. Why don’t you just text me whenever you’re up for it, and I’ll come by.” I’m noncommittal. I’ve had enough rejection for one day. I’d like to end it on a happy note.

“Okay, I’ll text you as soon as I’m ready,” she says just as vaguely.

We say goodnight and I save her number before I lay down again.

I feel less settled than I have been all day.

What the fuck am I going to do? I don’t want to be her friend. But her break up is recent, I guess jumping into something else right away doesn’t feel right.

Butwefeel right. Maybe spending time together will show her that in a way my words can’t.

Then I remember her saying something about me using the piano while she was at work. I shouldn’t have been so damn noncommittal when she asked. Now, I have to wait for her to call.

I’m just lying back down when my phone buzzes with a text. Queen Beth flashes and a selfie we took on my phone the first night we met pops up. I pick up the phone and my feet hit the floor before I finish reading it.

“I’m ready. 78 Piping Rock. West Winsome.”

“Well, fuck.” I decide that luck is on my side. I’m not giving up.

12

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