Page 50 of Between Now & Heartbreak

SOUL TO THE UNIVERSE

BETH

“Dina,save me from myself. Please. I just invited Carter over.” I say as soon as Dina picks up.

“Hold on…one sec…” she whispers, and I hear rustling and then a few seconds later a quiet click of a door closing.

“Now what’d you say?” She says in a normal voice.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry. You were in bed. Did I wake Wes up?”

“No, you didn’t. I wasn’t sleeping. I was just lying there thinking about all the mistakes I’ve made.”

“Are you okay?” I ask, worried by how despondent she sounds.

“I’m fine. Same as always. Please tell me you’ve got something really exciting to tell me. And that you’re not just calling to say hi or some shit.” She says in angry voice.

I laugh. “No, I’ve got something to tell you. But it’s not exciting. I invited Carter over. Like right now. It’s almost 1am. What am I doing?”

She cackles. “I want to be you when I grow up.”

“What do you mean?”

“You made a booty call.

“No, he’s coming over to play the piano.”

“Right. So much for not being ready for all that.”

“I’mnotready. And you’re an asshole to make fun of me right now. I’m freaking out,” I yell into the phone and look at my watch. It’s gonna take him less than ten minutes to get here.

“Why?”

“Because it’s late. And I don’t know what I was thinking. You’re right. I can’t keep my hands off him. And he’ll be here any minute and I need to figure out how to keepthatfrom happening again.”

“Well whatever you do, make sure you wash your ass so when he goes down on you, he’ll want to take his time.”

“Oh my God. You are so crass.”

“Well I want all the details as soon as he leaves in the morning. Cause I know you’re gonna bone.”

“Don’t talk like that. There’s not going to be any boning. I’m going to draw. I will admit that I can’t stop thinking about him, but I think it’s more about the music. I’m done with all that for now. I need to figure my life out.”

“Okay…I mean, sounds like you’re trying to convince yourself more than you’re trying to convince me. You just do whatever feels right. But also, get your freak on. You deserve a little slut action.”

“I’ll leave the slut action to you,” I snip.

She barks out a harsh, dry laugh.

“IwishI was a slut. Wes makes it look like alotof fun.”

“Oh God. I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“Really? Well, now you do. Go get ready. Call me in the morning. Bye.” She hangs up before I can respond to any of that.

Uh, I’m so clueless sometimes. Here I’ve been moping about my life and I forget that my friend is also going through her shit. Next time I see her, I’m going to make her talk to me.

Right now, I’ve got a crisis to avert. I hop in the shower and spend three minutes washing the lazy day I spent moping, masturbating and eating ice cream off. It takes another two minutes spreading my mandarin orange lotion on everywhere. Then I put on the ugliest pair of underwear I can find, complete with holes and period stains. I rummage until I find a bra I should have thrown away ten years go.

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