Page 51 of Between Now & Heartbreak

I put on the dullest pair of leggings I can find and put on one of James’ oversized high school basketball t-shirts. I swipe on some gloss and mascara slip on my wig just as my doorbell rings.

I rush downstairs, practicing my happy to see you, but not ready to fuck you, smile.

I take a deep breath and open the door.

“Hey. How are you? You find it …“ the words die in my throat as I take him in.

He’s got such a compelling face. But his body is more on display than I’ve ever seen it before and it’s just as compelling. If not more so.

He has a new tattoo on his forearm.. It’s sheet music, wrapped all the way around from his elbow to his wrist.

“Wow… is that a real song?” I ask, my eyes riveted to the intricate ink.

He runs a hand over it, and a nostalgic smile spreads across his face. “It’s Beethoven’s Sonata 17 in D Minor. It was my audition piece for Juilliard and my father’s favorite composition. I got this right after he died.”

“I love that. And it’s so beautiful. The detail is incredible.” I trail my fingertips over the arrangement of notes and bars. When I get to the end of it right above his wrist, he turns his hand inward and clasps my fingers in his.

I look up in surprise, but don’t try to pull my hand away, it feels so good. And no one’s watching. I saw a car drive back and forth a few times for the first few days I was here. But, it’s stopped as long as Carter

He steps over the threshold and into the house. I have to step back to put some space between us.

“Thank you. The house is beautiful.” He looks around James’ house with genuine appreciation and I wish James had been here to see that look on his face. He loved this house so much.

“Thanks for inviting me over.”

“I’m glad you’re here,” I admit but don’t give him a chance to respond before I turn and lead us down the long corridor. “Come on, let me show you what you came for.” We’re still holding hands and he links our fingers and sweeps his thumb over the back of my hand. It’s an innocent touch, but my whole body resounds with the aftershocks of it. Thank god for these disgraceful drawers I wouldn’t be caught dead in.

“Here she is!” I say with relish, and pull my hand away to I turn on the lights in the big room in the back of the house where James kept his black baby grand piano.

“Wow,” he says under his breath. He walks over and leans to look inside it’s open lid and gives an impressed whistle. “She’s a beauty. Is this an heirloom?”

“It might be. I know James took it out of the family storage unit and brought it here when he bought the house.”

He looks up at me, his dark green eyes bright with anticipation and I’m so glad I went to find him today.

“Do you play at all?” He glances at my hands and I instinctively link my hands together to hide them.

I smile sheepishly. “I had lessons, I just wasn’t any good.” I sit down at the bench and press a few keys.

He sits down next to me and I can feel the heat and weight of his body even though he’s inches away from touching me. I scoot away. Touching him is the very last thing I should be doing.

“It needs to be tuned, I think.”

He runs a reverent hand over the music rack. “I can do that.”

“Then, come play any time you want, for as long as you want. If you don’t mind, I’d love to draw in here. My studio is upstairs, but for the sketches I make before I paint, this room and that desk get great light. And your music gives me so much inspiration. I’ll just sit while you play and sing to your heart’s content.”

His smile disappears.

“Or, I can work upstairs and give you some privacy.” I try to hide my disappointment.

“It’s not that. It’s just… I don’t really sing,” he says and I wrinkle my nose in confusion.

“You sang at Corks,” I remind him.

“I know—It’s just something I do every once in a while.”

He looks uncomfortable and that’s the last thing I want. So, I drop it.

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