Page 63 of Between Now & Heartbreak

“And who would have helped her? People like you?” I push back.

“What doesthatmean?” His eyes narrow in challenge.

I let out a growl of exasperation. I can’t believe I’m the one on the defensive now.

“Itmeansyou’re forgetting that she’s a human being. Was she supposed to spend the rest of her life putting up with that shit? You have no clue. You’re running around living your life. You don’t know what it’s like to not have a fuckingchoice. Maybe that gun was pointed at her first. Did you think aboutthat?”

“Woah, Beth. Your face is turning red, babe, calm down.” He reaches for my arms. I pull away.

“Don’t tell me to calm down. I don’t want to be calm. You’re talking about a woman who was powerless. Iknowwhat it’s like to be completely at the mercy of other people. You better believe I’d doanythingto spare myself and the people I love from a life like that.”

I pause to catch a breath and see that I’ve said too much. My stomach dips at the look on Carter’s face.

His expression has shifted from frustration to concerned interest.

“Beth, what did your father do when he found out about us?”

His question is so far out of left field and so unexpected that my pulse reacts like a bullet just went off.

“What?”

“You just said—”

“I’m not sure how it is thatI’mthe one who explaining myself, when you still haven’t told me what you’re doing with all this stuff.” I point at the papers spread out on the table in front of us. “Or why you care about the Kendicotts and Duke?”

He curses under his breath and looks away from me. “I’m have to tell you something. I’m going to ask you not to repeat it to anyone.” His voice is grave and when he looks back at me, he his eyes are so bleak, that apprehension instantly eclipses my anger.

I take a tentative step toward him, and put my hand over his heart. He covers it with his and pulls me into a bear hug. I wrap my arms around him and he curls around me, holding me so tight that breathing is instantly harder. He smells like s

“I don’t want you to think differently of me.” His breath is hot against my neck and his stubbled cheek scrapes my face.

“I couldnever,” I try to sound reassuring, but inside I’m panicking.

What is he about to tell me? I swallow down my dread him. I run my hands in soothing circles over his strong back and lay my head on his shoulder. “You’re scaring me. Justsayit.”

He takes a deep breath and lets me out of the bear hug, but takes my hand and leads me over to the small blue love seat by the window.

We sit, my hand in his while he talks.

“The Kendicotts were my parents. I was adopted by the Bosh’s when I was less than six weeks old. When I was here last summer, someone saw me and looked like she’d seen a ghost. My parents had scant details about my mother, but I wanted to know more. I love my family. I don’t want another one, but I wanted to know where I came from. My brother can look at my dad and know what he’ll look like in twenty years. Nadia the same. High cholesterol runs in my mother’s family and she made sure all of us ate with that in mind. But, I don’t know any of that and I wanted to.”

My heart aches for him. He looks tortured. I didn’t exactly win the birth lottery, but I can’t imagine having no clue who my real parents are.

“I would want to know, too Carter. So, how did you find out who she was?”

“Well first I got a DNA test and put the results on one of those sites where you can build a family tree and find out our ancestry. I had a hit, a match instantly. The profile didn’t have a picture, but the initials were SB. I hired a private investigator, gave him all the information my parents had and he found her. But he also found that she’d given birth before —”

“But she didn’t list the kid on her marriage certificate application.”

I finish for him. He lets go of my hand and leans away.

“How do you know that?” He voice is incredulous.

“Dina talked about it,” I say absently. A million thoughts rush through my mind. Like eels writhing in a barrel, and just as I catch the tail of one, it slips free of my grasp.

“Beth?” He calls me, and I look up at him dazedly.

“So, you thought Duke was that kid?…” is all I manage, but my throat is too dry, my thoughts too jumbled to say much more.

---