Page 78 of Between Now & Heartbreak

“I just find being honest saves me a lot of discomfort and time.” She shrugs.

My opinion of her has swung a wide arc today. Now, I think that if Beth only has one friend, I’m glad this is her.

I smile and stand.

“No, not rude at all. Thanks for your help.” I shove my phone and wallet into my pockets.

“Thank me by getting that sample to me fast. And please don’t fuck up and hurt my friend because then, I’ll have to ruin your life.” She smiles sweetly and then turns back to her phone, dismissing me.

24

GOOD VIBES ONLY

BETH

It’s beena week since Carter left my house. And that same amount of time since I slept well. I spent the first two nights staring at my phone waiting for him to call me so I could explain everything.

But he didn’t call.

And, I couldn’t find the nerve to.

Or, the words to say how sorry I am. And that I got scared because my obligations are weighing heavily on me.

I want to tell him that he’s everything to me. That I love that he’s beautiful and talented but at the same time so sensitive he’s sensitive and restless. In the few weeks we’ve spent together, I’ve found the kind of closeness and ease I never dared dream of, but have always wanted.

I couldn’tsayany of those things, so I used the time alone to finally start painting the piece I’d been building one sketch at a time. I moved to the studio upstairs and start to paint.

And for the last five days, I’ve barely slept. But I finished the biggest part of it today, and when I was done, I was delirious in the best way.

Thateuphoria ran out nearly six hours ago. It took with it the mental block I’d put up while I was focused on finishing the painting. And all of the things I hadn’t thought about came flooding in. I’ve spent most of the day on my couch, paralyzed by indecision.

My doorbell rings and I trip over my feet running to answer the door and my heart hammers.

Ithasto be Carter.

I yank the door open and nearly burst into tears.

It’s Dina. An angry, glaring Dina.

Dina who has been calling me incessantly this afternoon. I turned my phone on silent and ignored her.

I put on an innocent, surprised expression.

“Oh, hi. I didn’t realize you were in town.”

“You wouldn’t have had to realize anything if you’d answered your phone.”

I smooth my hair down and hope she can’t see the food stains on my pants. “I’ve been busy.”

“Busy doing what?” She snaps and before I can answer, she shoves her way past me and walks into the house.

“Hey, where are you going?” I close the door and hurry after her.

She’s standing, her back to me, in the middle of my pig pen of a living room.

“Dina, I told you I’m busy.”

She spins around to face me, her hazel eyes sweep the length of me and she shakes her head in dismay.

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