Page 81 of Between Now & Heartbreak

I am so ready for my life to be something more than this.

I want to get off this sickening ride I’m on. I’m not even sure if I want to marry anyone, at all.

But I certainly don’t want to marry Duke.

The choice feels so clear suddenly. In fact, I can’t remember why I’d been so scared about it before.

What exactly will do with that money that I can’t do without it. Sure, I’ll be rich. But then, what?

Do I give it to Cameron?

Use it to pay for her education and upkeep?

I could use it to hire a lawyer, but I don’t think I have any legal claim on my sister over my father, so there’d be no point.

No, All I can do is make sure that she has a place and person to turn to if she decides she wants something other than the life my father offers her. Like I wish someone had done for me.

Also, I’m not presumptuous enough to believe that I know what she’ll actually want. She maywantto be a trophy. Like my mother did.

What will I do then? Kidnap her andforceher to be independent? That would make me no worse than my father.

No, the best thing I can do is to be in a position to help if she decides she wants it.

Freedom isn’t for everybody.

But it’s for me.

I’m ready to spread my wings. I want Carter and I want adventure and I want to leave.

I stand, re-energized and impatient to get going.

“Okay. I’ve got to go. I need to end things with Duke. I’ve got to talk to my father and I’ve got to find Carter.”

“Well, since your Dad and Duke are out of reach right now, how about we focus on Carter? I hear he’s got a hot date tonight and I’m thinking you ought to go bust it up.”

“He has adate? Oh hell, no.” I stand up and start toward my stairs. I’m on a mission now.

“Lizzy, wait.” Her voice is urgent and when I turn to face her, Dina’s expression is conflicted and fear strikes.

“What’s wrong? Do you think I’m too late? That he won’t forgive me?”

“No, nothing like that. Jeez…why does your mind go to the worst possible thing?”

“Are you really asking me that? Have you not been paying attention to my life?”

She wrinkles her nose. “Fair enough.”

She gives me a critical once over.

“What’s wrong?” I ask nervously.

“It’s just a minor thing…and I know Carter’s really hot for you already. But I think you need to buy some new clothes and take that awful wig off your head before you go after him. Don’t hate me. I love you. This is really awkward for me to say, but I love you too much not to say it.” Her words come out in a rush and she watches me braced for my reaction.

I jerk back in surprise. “I havegreatclothes.” I retort.

“Yes, but…” She says slowly with a frown on her face.

“But?” I snap.

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