Page 42 of Between Now & Heartbreak

“Well, not enough to give it power over my decisions.”

“Awesome. Then you cannotcheat with Carter as much as you want.” She says cheerily.

“No. I can’t.”

“Why not? It’s the perfect summer fling set up. He’s only here for a few months. Duke and Sauron are gone. One last hurrah before you sign your life away. I’msurehe’d be down for it.”

And even though my heart is breaking, I can’t help but smile when I think about how to answer that question.

“We aresogood together. From the minute we met, it’s like we’ve always known each other. We have a real connection. One that I don’t think I’ve had with anyone. Except my brothers and you. But, unfortunately, we’re also really attracted to each other.”

“You mean, can’t keep your hands off each other, And I don’t know why that’sunfortunate. Do you know how many people would love to meet someone they feel that way about? You’ve got a chance. A real one. And I don’t know a guy who would turn down a summer of no strings attached sex with a girl he’s into. ”

“You know, in proportion to the rest of your face, your mouth istiny. It’s like it’s got its own Napoleonic complex. So determined to prove its value that it overcompensates by never shutting up.” I say.

She rolls her eyes. “Fine. I’ll let you finish. AndthenI’ll tell you why everything you said is bullshit.”

I give her an unfriendly smile.

“Carter and I couldn’tjusthave sex,”

“Ummm, you fucked in the library. I think you already did.”

I give her a warning glare.

She runs her pinched fingers over her lips to illustrate sealing them.

“If I break this off with Duke, there will be consequences. Ones I couldn’t live with. If I were free to choose, there’d be no question. It would be him.”

“So, you want to just be friends?” She looks at me like I have three heads.

“Why are you saying friends like it’s a bad word?”

“Because you’re half in love with him already. That’s not going to go away because you justwantto be friends.”

“ I don’twantto be in love with him. That’s the last thing I need. It’s too late for us. And in a way, I’m glad. Love only ends in heartbreak.”

“Well, I guess I can’t argue there. I don’t have the best track record. In fact, I have no business giving you advice.

I don’t know what went on with her and James, or what is happening with her and Wes, but I can see from the flash of bleak resignation that it’s not good.

“Fine. But you can’t have your cake and eat it, too. You’re crazy if you think he’s going to stand by and be yourfriendwhile you marry someone you don’t even like,” she warns me.

“Then, that will be one more person I’ll have to learn to live without. I don’t expect you to understand. But, I’m trying to find a way to survive this until I can live on my own terms.”

She pulls back, breaking our embrace and looks at me thoughtfully, her dark eyes unreadable.

“Okay, listen.Maybeit feels like this agreement with Duke is your only way forward. But you have to admit that Carter coming back right now, feels like…something. You say you two have a connection. A rare one. I mean, it’s up to you, but maybe you can find a place to land that’s somewhere between ripping your clothes off and not speaking.”

I groan and shake my head, as the memory of those last few minutes in the library rushes back.

“What?” Dina asks.

“He’s so mad at me. And I don’t blame him. I have no idea what I’d even say to him, now.”

“Well…” Dina purrs, the heaviness that seeped into our conversation is gone and she’s got a mischievous glint in her eye. “Iheard he rented the McDonald house, but they had a huge leak and now he’s at the B & B. You could offer him something he clearly needs.”

“What? A place to stay?” I ask, not connecting the dots.

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