Page 114 of Between Now and Always

“What?”

“I was going to watch you get married so I could cure myself of you. But, I left before…I didn’t see you not come down the aisle.”

“I see…I wondered when you were going to tell me,” I say with nonchalant smile.

“How did you know?” he looks offended and I bite my cheek to keep from laughing.

“Dina mentioned it. Said she saw you. I was shocked, but she was talking and I didn’t want to interrupt. I figured you had a good reason for not telling me.”

He stares down at me for a long moment, his expression, unreadable and my moment of delight at having shocked him fades.

“Say something,” I demand when he continues his wordless stare.

“I was listening to you earlier,” he says, his voice gruff with emotion.

“Huh?”

“When you asked about changing your name to Piaf, I was listening, but I pretended not to hear you because I was hoping you’d drop it,” he says.

I frown, startled by the left turn at his admission. “Why?”

He lifts his iPad to show me what he was reading.

I peer at the screen. It’s the New York Health Department’s website. “Information on getting married in New York State.” My eyes fly back to his face.

The fierce love in his eyes is everything I’ve ever dreamed and everything I couldn’t imagine. In the confines of my chest, my heart has turned into a caged bird, flapping its wings, frantically demanding to be set free.

He swings his legs off the side of the bed and stands up and strides around to my side of the bed and just before he reaches me, he stops suddenly and curses under his breath.

I watch him, wide - eyed, confused, and a little scared as he’s starts and stops, and grapples with indecision.

“Fuck it,” he says before he stalks over to the edge of the bed where I’m lying.

“What are you doing?”

He drops down on one knee and the words die on my tongue and my heart starts to beat hard and fast.

“I had them bake the ring into the cake at the restaurant. I was going to ask you tonight, at dinner, with our family around us,” he says.

“Ask me?” I whisper, and the smile he graces me with, isn’t just the shape of one, but the physical manifestation of joy. I will never know what I did to deserve this beautiful man, but when he looks at me like that, I know that it’s a reward.

He straightens his spine and grasps my hand.

“You are the resounding, unequivocal answer to every single question I’ve ever asked, Beth. I’ve loved you from the minute I laid eyes on you and I will love you always. I would turn my back on heaven and walk through hell to have you. I want to give you my name and make a family with you. And when I take my last breath here on earth, I want to know that I’ve left every single ounce of my cum my body is capable of making inside of you.”

The sob I’d been holding back, dissolves as laughter, belly deep and soul satisfying pours out of me. He chuckles, a satisfied smile on his face.

“You are so crazy, Carter. What kind of thing is that to say when you’re proposing?”

His smile fades and his expression grows solemn again.

“Your eyes were filling with tears. A girl with a heart as bold as yours and a wellspring of love that is the very essence of her soul, should never cry. I know that’s possible and life will give many reasons to shed a tear. But it is my life’s mission to never be one of those reasons.”

“Baby,” I gasp, so overwhelmed by the beauty of his heart.

“I want to be your home and I want you to be mine. Will you marry, Beth?”

I nod.

---