Page 78 of The Sun and Her Star

“Apollo’s at @Sunandherstar. It’s the name of her gallery, too.” I drop my phone.

Sun and her Star. That’sus. Hope springs to life in my chest.

I reach down to pick it up from the floor of my cab. I put her on speaker and open my note taking app. “Sorry, I dropped my phone. I’m ready for her number,” I say, anticipation bubbling in my gut. I can’t believe that in a few minutes, I’ll have Apollo’s number.

I can get to New York in a few hours. I grin up at the top of the car.

“Ah, here it is. She’s out of town until tomorrow. But if you call, Lucas will take the message.”

My smile falls. “Who’s Lucas?”

“Oh, he’s her boyfriend. Such a dear boy. He does something with banks or something. He’s always at Apollo’s place.” Her voice is cold and has lost all of its false civility.

My stomach drops, and my throat constricts.

“You see, Graham, when you cast aside a gift, someone else will pick it up. She would have walked over a pit of snakes for you. I see you, famous, driving a fancy car. I hope those things make you happy.”

Each word feels like the lash of my stepfather’s belt. Breaking something. Reordering my life. Casting a shadow so impenetrable over the small reservoir of hope that I’ve harbored, that I can’t feel it anymore.

“She’shappier than I’ve ever seen her. Settled, doing a job she loves. Don’t youdareruin it. Do you hear me? She deserves to be happy. You need to let her have that!” she warns.

I hang up.

I open the Instagram app on my phone and search for Apollo’s handle. I scroll through the pictures and with each one, the sunlight that I’ve clung to recedes. Apollo looks beautiful. Nearly every picture is of her holding a piece of art. And then there’s one of her and a man. He’s standing behind her, grinning smugly at the camera. She’s looking at the ground, her hair hiding her face. But I can imagine she’s smiling, too.

I turn my phone off.

Isabel is right.

I threw Apollo away, and now she’s moved on.

It’s time for me to do the same. Everyone looks at me and thinks I have a great life.

I finally have a chance to make that as true on the outside as it appears.

My mother is in remission and is back home.

I’m finally free of Nanette.

I have money and I’m about to start filming my television show.

So what if I don’t have Apollo? I didn’t need her to be happy.

I’ve busted my ass. I’ve sacrificed.

I’m going to enjoy it.

Year 4

Graham

“Mr. Davis, how are you feeling? You out celebrating?” Dean asks when he answers the phone.

“It’s only three o’clock. I’m saving that for later. Any progress on my beard?”

“You know, you’re the only client I’ve ever had who needs a beard to avoid having to date anyone at all. Most beards—”

“I know. Thanks for humoring me.” He’s said this about a thousand times.

---