Page 98 of The Sun and Her Star

I see red.

“Why are you laughing? You’reruiningmy life! Again?” I scream at him. I am wild with frustration and fear. Worst of all, I’m so turned on I want to shove my hand into my panties and finger my pussy until I come.

I want to do itrightnow. And, I want him towatch.

Oh my God.

What is wrong with me?

He’s turned me into a sex crazed exhibitionist who is ready to abandon every single one of my principles and let him fuck wherever he wants, however he wants.

All in less than four hours.

I don’t want to imagine the rubble I’ll be reduced to if I gave him more time.

“Listen, maybe it’s too late. Maybe it’s time to cut this off for good. I can’tthinkaround you.” I jab a finger at the side of my head in frustration. “And I can’t be one of the girls you see twice and then never again.” I put “twice” in air quotes and glare at him.

His laughter dies.

Amusement morphs into surprise, then surprise settles into indignation.

“What did you say?” His voice is low with warning.

I bristle. “I amnotafraid of you. Don’t you dare try to intimidate me, Graham Davis.” I point a finger at him. “I’m just being honest. I deserve better,” I say and cross my hands over my chest to keep from tugging on my hair. It’s my tell. And I’m lying through my teeth. There is no one better than him. But he has a habit of smashing my heart into a million pieces any time I let him near it.

He laughs bitterly. “So, now I’m not good enough for you?” He takes a small step in my direction. “You’ve known me for fourteen years.” He holds up his massive hand and spreads his fingers—as if I needed the visual aid—and shoves it in my face.

“I know how to count,” I snap.

“Then, why thefuckare you acting like you don’t know me?” He growls at me.

“Because I don’t. Not anymore. And stop cursing at me. It’s rude.” My pulse is jumping, and I can’t keep up my cool demeanor.

I take a step back and only end up slamming my head against the cabinet beside me. I rub the sore spot and glare at him.

To my abject horror and dismay, my eyes fill with tears.Howdid I let this happen?

I look at him, my despair on full display. “Youshatteredme, Graham. Into pieces. You promised me … and then you just changed your mind. I’m afraid because I can’t go through that again.” My choked-out words are a confession bound by a plea for mercy.

His eyes soften before he closes them briefly and swears under his breath. When he opens his eyes again, he avoids my face and looks at the hands that are rubbing my head.

“Let me see.” He moves my hand away from my head with a gentle nudge and strokes the tender spot on my head. His eyes hold mine captive with a look that conveys regret, but also determination. My entire body erupts in gooseflesh.

An involuntary sigh, straight from the center of my Graham-loving heart, floats into the space between us,

“Apollo, I’msosorry. You believe that, don’t you?” His eyes are questioning, but I don’t have any answers.

“You must know I would never intentionally hurt you. Never,” he insists.

My head and my heart are locked in a battle for supremacy. I have no idea which one will win.

“I don’t know what to do, Graham. I didn’t expect this. What’s changed?” I demand, desperate for him to say something to make this not feel so hard.

“Everything has changed. All those years ago? I couldn’t give you anything but sex. And I wanted us to be so much more. But I couldn’t. Not then.” His eyes plead with me to understand.

I break our eye contact. “Yeah, so you’ve said.”

He tilts my chin with his forefinger, and our eyes meet again. His beseeching eyes are so soft and familiar. I want to fall into them and believe everything I see in them. It would besoeasy to just let go.

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